Subject: Sports (Page 63)

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns.

Golf Sports

When Lee [Trevino] and Jack [Nicklaus] win, it is good for golf; when I win, it is better.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

Fast bowlers are quick. Just watch this – admittedly it is in slow motion.

Australian cricketer
Misspokements Sports

Every time I get injured, my wife ends up pregnant.

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

On fishing shows they always throw the fish back; they don’t want to eat them, they just want to make them late for something.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Sports

The L.A. Lakers are so good they could run a fast break with a medicine ball.

Basketball Sports

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Activities Golf Sports

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

There’s no crying in baseball!

(1956 – ) American movie actor
Baseball Sports TV/Movie Quotes

I’m having problems with my putting; but it’s the puttee, not the putter.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

It will be like lying in a bath with your feet on the taps, but not as comfortable.

Scottish auto racer
Auto racing Sports

We have a great bunch of outside shooters; unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

My idea of managing is giving the ball to Tom Seaver and sitting down and watching him work.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

With four sisters about the house, I could never get my hands on a comb.

American boxing champion
Appearance Boxing Hair Sports

Nigel Mansell is someone with about as much charisma as a damp spark-plug.

British sportswriter
Auto racing Insults Sports

When I get done with 'Sweet Pea,' he'll be 'Split Pea.'

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I’ve been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak; the good part is that they don’t make posters of those guys.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

Naseem Hamed is naturally fit. I've seen more fat on a butcher's apron.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Sports

I'll go another 15 rounds with Holmes if Howard will quit announcing football!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports