Subject: Sports (Page 64)

Sometimes Howard makes me wish I was a dog and he was a fireplug.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.


Sports

We are the sort of people who make health insurance popular.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Health Hockey Sports

When I told my wife UConn would win the Big East tournament, she wanted to know why a team from Alaska got into the Big East tournament.

American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

Spanish professional golfer
Golf Sports

I got a guy who's short, stoop shouldered and balding with two left feet. They all look better than he does as far as the moves are concerned, but they don't look so good on the canvas.

American boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

A slump starts in your head and winds up in your stomach.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

There is a thin line between genius and insanity, and in Larry's case it was sometimes so thin you could see him drifting back and forth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

All I do is hit somebody in the mouth; it's a whole lot easier than working for a living.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports Work

Behind every good decathlete, there's a good doctor.

American Olympic decathlon champion
Misspokements Sports

Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg.

Scottish television commentator
Sports

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone

Hockey Sports

Baseball and malaria keep coming back.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.

American basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

Davis fouls out to third in fair territory.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports