Subject: Sports (Page 64)

We get no respect. Everybody we play on the road has made us their homecoming game.

Indiana University football coach & sports commentator
Football Sports

That one is so far right Michael Moore could make a documentary about it.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Little League baseball is a good thing ’cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Children Parents Sports Yogi-isms

They are a either a pain in the backside or too drunk to perform.

Amsterdam prostitutes’ spokeswoman
Sex Sports

The only reason we’re 7-0 is because we’ve won all seven of our games.

Misspokements Sports

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I don't fight for legacy. I don't fight for none of that, I fight for that check; I'm in the check cashing business.

American professional boxer
Boxing Sports

Rocky Marciano didn't know enough boxing to know what a feint was. He never tried to out-guess you. He just kept trying to knock your brains out.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Politics Sports

I hate the minor leagues. I'd rather go out to lunch with my ex-wife's attorney, then play in the minors.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Why should I have become elevated to a position of first-page importance merely because I am somewhat more dexterous than most in manipulating a contrivance of catgut and wood which is commonly called a tennis racquet?

first American female professional tennis player
Sports Success

I don’t think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

When I looked at the third base coach for a sign, he turned his back on me.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Sports

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars; that bothered my dad at the time because he didn’t have that kind of dough… but he eventually scraped it up.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Money Sports

Floyd Patterson is everything a world heavyweight champion should be… except busy.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first, and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports