Subject: Sports (Page 66)

If hockey fights were fake, I'd be in more of them.

professional hockey player
Fights Hockey Sports

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Golf Sports

I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The announcement of the disqualification was greeted by booze from the spectators at the pool.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace beyond all understanding, which comes at its maximum only to the man who has given up golf.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Golf Situations Sports

Tee your ball high… the air offers less resistance than dirt.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

The trouble with officials is they just don't care who wins.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

It’s a humbling thing being humble.

Ohio State football player
Misspokements Sports

Gentlemen, start your coffins.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Auto racing Sports

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Golf Sports

Yeah… it’s called defense, I mean I wouldn't know anything about it personally but I've heard about it through the grapevine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Pose nude for Playgirl? … I wouldn't pose nude for Boxing News.

English boxer
Boxing Sports

Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.

motor racing commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Children Sports

They’ve picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders.

English former football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

I don't fight for legacy. I don't fight for none of that, I fight for that check; I'm in the check cashing business.

American professional boxer
Boxing Sports

It’s got lots of installation.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The first time I ever came into a game there [Yankee Stadium], I got in the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball New York City Places Sports

If Marc Bulger throws an interception in Sun Devil Stadium and nobody is there to see it, is it still an interception?

American sports writer
Football Sports

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Baseball Sports

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports