Subject: Sports (Page 67)

Moonshiners put more time, energy, thought, and love into their cars than any racer ever will. Lose on the track, and you go home. Lose with a load of whiskey, and you go to jail.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

The last thing you want to do is shoot 80 wearing tartan trousers.

English professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

You rejoin us at a very appropriate time – Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end!

cricket announcer
Misspokements Sports

Distance running to a professional athlete in my day was five laps around the field. And you stopped each lap to take your pulse.

American football player
Football Sports

If you lose your best cornerback and punter, I’d say that’s a double loss.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

I’ve never been swimming, and that’s because it’s never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, radio personality & author
Activities Eating Food/Drink Sports

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

Now there’s three things you can do in a baseball game; you can win or you can lose or it can rain.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

It’s basically the same, just darker.

stock car racer
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.

(1953 – ) American baseball player
Situations Sports

I do not speak the English so good, but then I speak the driving very well.

Brazilian auto racer
Auto racing Sports

He’s throwing grounders.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.


Sports

Maybe I have lost a step, but I had a few to lose.

professional football player
Football Sports

The A's leave after this game for Cleveland. It was only by a 13-12 vote that they decided to go.

Oakland A's announcer
Baseball Places Sports

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports

You can't get rich sitting on the bench, but I'm giving it a try.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

(He) started out here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

I'd take five [former player] Milt Schmidts, put my grandmother in the nets and we'd beat any team.

Former NHL referee
Hockey Sports

I never knew anybody who said they liked doubleheaders except Ernie Banks, and I think he was lying.

professional baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

I don't want to get into a 'He said, she said' with the refs… I'm the 'he.'

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports