Subject: Sports (Page 67)

All the Padres need is a flyball in the air.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'm glad it's him and not some other puke.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Early in the year, after a bad game, I said to my kids in the car, this is my last year and the next day I was getting phone calls from the school about whether I was retiring.  And that was in October.

(1961 – ) Canadian hockey player & owner
Hockey Sports

I was like a pig with a wristwatch.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Hockey is the original extreme sport.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

In a perfect world, a fair world, Bob Hayes should be forced to carry a small calf on his shoulder when he runs the dashes…Mark Spitz, in all fairness, would swim with a sea anchor…[and] Ella Fitzgerald must sing every note with a mouth full of Tootsie Rolls.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Entertainment Life Places Sports World

I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time.

British boxer
Misspokements Sports

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Men Sports

If I was earning £1 a race, I'd still be a racing driver – just a poor one.

British auto racer
Auto racing Money Sports

The Mets just had their first .500 or better April since July of 1992.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Personally, I have always looked upon cricket as organized loafing.

(1881–1944) Archbishop of Canterbury
Sports

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

American professional tennis player
Body Sports

We worked 80 hour weeks for 30 years to keep from having to get a real job.

American drag racing crew chief & pioneer
Auto racing Sports

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball.

(1926 – ) professional bowler
Golf Sports

If you don't have outstanding relief pitching, you might as well piss on the fire and call the dogs.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
Baseball Sports

Spring training should last one day. We'd have the team golf outing and head north.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

I made a collect call to the Lions after they drafted me and they wouldn’t accept it.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Football Sports

Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring; besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. It’s more democratic.

(1955 – ) American actor, musician, producer & director
Baseball Sports TV/Movie Quotes