Subject: Sports (Page 67)

Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.

professional hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball.

football coach
Football Sports

The smaller the ball used in a sport, the better the book.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Sports

Turner pulls into second with a sun-blown double.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The Mets achieved total incompetence in a single year, while the Browns worked industriously for almost a decade to gain equal proficiency.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Characteristics Sports

They write more books.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

Coaches are an integral part of any manager's team, especially if they are good pinochle players.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Only if it's held in a phone booth.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two in your pocket.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

These ball boys are marvellous; you don’t even notice them; there’s a left-handed one over there that I noticed earlier.

Tennis commentator
Misspokements Sports

Cricket shouldn't be used as a political football.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

You can't see a digital clock because there isn't one.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

You win some, you lose some, you wreck some.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

In a perfect world, a fair world, Bob Hayes should be forced to carry a small calf on his shoulder when he runs the dashes…Mark Spitz, in all fairness, would swim with a sea anchor…[and] Ella Fitzgerald must sing every note with a mouth full of Tootsie Rolls.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Entertainment Life Places Sports World

I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie?

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports