Subject: Sports (Page 67)

Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.

professional football player
Football Misspokements Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

She's slower than trying to bake a pie with a lighter.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

He told me just to keep the ball low.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

Speaking from memory, I don't know how many points Nelson Piquet has.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ‘em.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
America Baseball People Sports

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. 

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Hockey Sports

Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees.

British commentator
Misspokements Sports

Gibson's the luckiest pitcher I've ever seen because he always picks the night to pitch when the other team doesn't score any runs.

American baseball player & commentator
Baseball Sports

That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

When you hear someone shout "You da man" – if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man. 

newspaper sports columnist
Golf Sports

On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

It's not whether you win or lose, but who gets the blame.

American football player
Football Sports

To Dallas Cowboys President Tex Schramm: You're one of the two most efficient organizations in the 20th century.

Schramm: What's the other?

Cook: The Third Reich.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating; I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we’re going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets.

baseball broadcaster
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The tactical difference between Association Football and Rugby with its varieties seems to be that in the former, the ball is the missile, in the latter, men are the missiles

English schoolmaster, sexologist, anthropologist & sports journalist
Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

Marshall's bowling with his head.

Misspokements Sports

Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports