Subject: Sports (Page 67)

It is better to give a lick than receive one.

American football player
Football Sports

Frank Bruno says I'm chicken. Well you can tell him I've come home to roost.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I don’t enjoy playing video golf because there’s nothing to throw.

American professional golfer
Entertainment Golf Sports

Frank, you deserve a knighthood, or maybe even Lord of the Rings.

Irish television & radio presenter
Boxing Misspokements Sports

The announcement of the disqualification was greeted by booze from the spectators at the pool.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

Pudge is so old, they didn’t have history class when he went to school.

professional baseball player & broadcaster
Age Baseball Old Sports

Billy Loes was the only player in the majors who could lose a ground ball in the sun.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

Did you know that the only Israeli gold medal in the history of the Olympics was in sailing? … further reinforcing the stereotype that Jews don’t tip!

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Sports

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Age Football Old Sports

When they smile, blood drips off their teeth.

(1938 – ) American businessman & baseball team owner
Baseball Sports

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

I believe in higher education… you know, 6'8", 6'9", 6'10."

Basketball Sports

You might be a redneck if… you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Sex Sports

And now, coming into the game is the five-ton junior from Canton, Ohio.

Misspokements Sports

Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter, I’m amphibious.

professional basketball player
Malaprops Sports

Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport; dancing is a contact sport.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Dance Football Sports

There are only two seasons – winter and baseball.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

It’s a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

I’ll probably take a little time off and go hide somewhere. We will be back. Maybe not this century, but we will be back.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Activities Life Sports