Subject: Sports (Page 68)

Tell him he’s Wayne Gretzky.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.

American basketball coach
Basketball Football Sports

After I took the Olympic job, my wife said to me, ‘You love hockey more than you love me.’ I told her, ‘Yes, dear, but I love you more than hunting and fishing.’

American hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

This boxer is doing what is expected of him, bleeding from his nose.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

My idea of managing is giving the ball to Tom Seaver and sitting down and watching him work.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Watching an America's Cup race is like watching grass grow.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer
Sports

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

And now, coming into the game is the five-ton junior from Canton, Ohio.

Misspokements Sports

Next week we'll be looking at the Tour de France, all those bicycles roaring through the countryside.

Misspokements Sports

I play sports…no I don’t… what the f**k?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Self Sports

Incompetence should not be confined to one sex.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

This year we plan to run and shoot. Next season we hope to run and score.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the United States.

Indiana University football coach & sports commentator
Football Misspokements Sports

The new asphalt is like putting a tuxedo on a rattlesnake.

American auto racer
Auto racing Expressions Sports

With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Appearance Basketball Body Clothing Sports

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Malaprops Sports

If they cut my bald head open, they will find one big boxing glove. That's all I am.

American boxing champion
Boxing Self Sports

I fear no man, but the dentist.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Emotions Fear Sports

All gong and no dinner… we just wish Anna would finally win something aside from hearts.

Sports