Subject: Sports (Page 69)

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

Entertainment Golf Music Sports

You don’t like to see hookers going down on players like that.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

The shoulder surgery was a success; the lobotomy failed.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun?

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

So what if they're taller? We'll play big.

college basketball coach
Appearance Basketball Body Sports

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years… or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Basketball Sports

Baseball without fans is like Jayne Mansfield without a sweater.

(1902 – 1994) British-born American trial lawyer & author
Baseball Sports

Say, when do they begin?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Sports

They're like two bulldogs eating lunch off a Brillo pad!

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

No, I had 999 times to get ready for it.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

If you can’t make the putts and can’t get the man in from second on the bottom of the ninth, you’re not going to win enough football games in this league, and that’s the problem we had today.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.

American football & basketball coach
Misspokements Sports

That was a maximization of a minimization of hits.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

My girlfriend boos when we make love because she knows it turns me on.

Puerto Rican boxer
Boxing Sports

Many fans look upon an umpire as a necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring; besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. It’s more democratic.

(1955 – ) American actor, musician, producer & director
Baseball Sports TV/Movie Quotes

I've thrown or broken a few clubs in my day. In fact, I guess at one time or another I probably held distance records for every club in the bag.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

He ran out of talent about halfway through the corner.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but mostly from the neck up.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports

We were so poor a robber once broke into our house and we ended up robbing the robber.

American football player
Football Money Poverty Sports