Sports | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports (Page 71)

Place-kickers aren't footballers, they're hired feet.

'Beano' Cook

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it.

Bill Peterson

football coach

Misspokements Sports

Spring training should last one day. We'd have the team golf outing and head north.

John Kruk

professional baseball player

Baseball Sports Spring training

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

Stormont Mancroft

British politician

People Sports Time Cricket Eternity Morant was courtmartialed and executed by the British – charged with killing Boer prisoners.

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it’s so incredible, it’s unbelievable.

Tom Landry

professional football coach

Football Misspokements Sports

They should send Borg away to another planet. We play tennis. He plays something else.

Ilie Năstase

Romanian professional tennis player

Sports On Björn Borg Tennis

I didn't want my Mom to know I was drag racing for 20 years so I told her I was in prison.

T.C. Lemons

American drag racing crew chief & pioneer

Auto racing Sports

When they operated, I told them to put in a Koufax fastball. They did, but it was Mrs. Koufax's.

Tommy John

professional baseball pitcher

Baseball Sports After arm surgery Sandy Koufax

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

Bob Hope

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Golf Sports Labor leader George Meany

What makes him unusual is that he thinks he's normal and everyone else is nuts.

Danny Ozark

American baseball manager

Baseball Sports On player Jay Johnstone

In boxing the right cross-counter is distinctly one of those things it is more blessed to give than to receive.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Boxing Sports Punches

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

Art Rosenbaum

(1912 – 2003) American sports writer

Characteristics Golf Honesty Lies Sports

There are only two seasons – winter and baseball.

Bill Veeck

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter

Baseball Science/Weather Sports Seasons

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

Tommy Lasorda

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Baseball Sports Doubleheaders

The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.

Johnny Rice

American baseball umpire

Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports Umpires

People have asked me a lot of times, because I didn't hit a lot, we all know that, how long a dozen bats would last me?… depending on the weight and the model that I was using at that particular time I would say eight to ten cookouts.

Bob Uecker

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor

Activities Baseball Sports Bats

My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

Andy Van Slyke

baseball player

Baseball Sports On the biggest adjustment from the minor leagues

There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot.

Sam Snead

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Golf Sports

Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

Ken Brown

sports commentator

Golf Misspokements Sports On golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open

1. Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach. 2. A free agent is anything but. 3. Whatever can go to New York will..

Murray’s Rules of the Arena

Activities Murphy’s Laws New York City Places Sports Free agents Teams

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.