Subject: Sports (Page 72)

He's as old as some trees.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Age Hockey Old Sports

He has the touch of a gay hairdresser.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

If you hit Polonia 100 fly balls, you could make a movie out of it — Catch 22.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Yes, and so is everyone else in the league.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Baseball Sports

Listen, ump… how can you sleep with the lights on?

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

I refuse to call a 47-year-old white-haired man ’Sparky.’

baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Entertainment Sports Television

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Men Sports

While playing golf today I hit two good balls… I stepped on a rake.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Golf Sports

The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there’s no advantage.

British motorcycle road racer
Misspokements Sports

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Children Sports

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

American baseball player
Baseball Life Sports

Alesi is in second place, and Hill is in second place.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Situations Sports

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

We’re trying to accomplish in five games what in previous years it took 162 games to do.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Pitching always beats batting — and vice-versa.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

That’s the fourth extra base hit for the Padres – two doubles and a triple.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Some people have a chip on their shoulder; Billy has a whole lumberyard.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Characteristics Sports