Subject: Sports (Page 73)

I ruined my hands in the ring… the referee kept stepping on them.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Football Sports

Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.

motor racing commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

She doesn't pay me anything. I pay her. Besides, what position can she play?

Toronto Maple Leafs owner
Hockey Sports

He (Gil Hodges) fields better on one leg than anybody else I got on two.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If there’s a pileup, they’ll have to give some of the players artificial insemination.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

If bullshit was poetry, Ray 'Boom Boom' Mancini's name would be 'Shakespeare.'

boxing manager
Boxing Sports

This boxer is doing what is expected of him, bleeding from his nose.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Baseball owners have moral scruples against taking any man’s dollar when there is a chance to take a dollar and a quarter.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Money Sports

Some quiet guys are inwardly outgoing.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements People Sports

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer
Communication Speech Sports

Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Emotions Football Sports

I found a delivery in my flaw.

(1953 – 1998) baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

A lot of horses get distracted; it’s just human nature.

Horse trainer
Misspokements Sports

Exciting plays occur only while you are watching the scoreboard or out buying a hot dog.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

I wonder if Watson is in the relaxed state of mind he's in.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

The current version of Buster Mathis [Jr.] boasts not just a Michelin man waist but an embonpoint thai would give him a better shot at starring in the next Wonderbra poster than winning a boxing title.

Boxing Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

You might not think that’s cricket, and it’s not; it’s motor racing.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

(1945 – ) football coach
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing Sports

It's kind of hard to rally around a math class.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Football Sports