Subject: Sports (Page 74)

Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.

American football & basketball coach
Misspokements Sports

I'd trade Larry Murphy for a shaved monkey who could skate and a bucket of pucks.

Hockey Sports

Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I don't know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.

American professional tennis player
Sports

Golf isn’t a game, it’s a choice that one makes with one’s life.

screenwriter & producer
Golf Sports

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

You've got to think lucky; if you fall into a mud hole, check your back pocket – you might have caught a fish.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Situations Sports

Congress

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Congress Golf Government Sports

It sure didn't make me the million dollars people said it would, but it sure made my ex-wife happy.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Baseball Murphy’s Laws Sports

Bert's wallet is like an onion. Any time he opens it, he starts crying.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

And Michael Schumacher just stood on his seat and pulled out something special.

British auto racer
Auto racing Colemanballs Sports

Watching Connors and McEnroe play was a little bit like watching the Indianapolis 500. You know that a good portion of the crowd was there not to see them play, but to explode.

American sportswriter, author & commentator
Sports

It was gone before it got outta here; it was going that fast.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie.

Canadian-born American hockey player
Hockey Sports

Sugar Ray Leonard was asked by Johnny Carson, “When do the wounds from the fight heal?”
His reply: “When the check clears.”

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals and three-run homers.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.

American professional tennis player
Sports

If Lew could cook, I’d marry him.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Racing is 99 per cent boredom and one per cent terror.

Australian auto racer
Auto racing Sports