Subject: Sports (Page 75)

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Dead Golfer Plays His Best Round

Golf Headlines Sports

We get carried away with coaches and coaching. I have my coaching badges, but they came out of a Cornflakes packet at the time.

English football player & manager
Sports

The trouble with officials is they just don't care who wins.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Marshall's bowling with his head.

Misspokements Sports

It’s marvelous. You win the championship of the world and the first thing they say to you is ‘Piss off!’

Scottish boxer
Boxing Sports

Say, when do they begin?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Sports

You may be right, but it hasn’t reached his legs yet!

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

My punches are just as hard in Chicago as in New York.

American professional boxer
Boxing Sports

Here’s a guy who can use his arms and legs at the same time.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

I’m not fat.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

It was the toughest seven-man zone we faced all year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

It’s a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

We got to practice a little bit. I want these guys to be bouncing around like a pogo stick on Viagra.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Ban On Boxing After Death

Headlines Sports

All quitters are good losers.

German-American football coach
Football Sports

He’s about the size of a lot of guys that size.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

I don’t know that my behavior has improved all that much with age; they just found someone worse.

American professional tennis player
Sports

Some guys play hockey… Gretzky plays 40 mph chess.

American sportswriter
Hockey Sports