Subject: Sports (Page 76)

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

Sugar Ray Leonard's retirements last about as long as Elizabeth Taylor's marriages.

professional boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

I don’t want to die in the middle of the football season; I have to know who’s No. 1 in the last polls.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Death Football Sports

He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling.

(1909–1959) American boxing champion
Sports

Jay Bell is 0-for-6 in this series with 10 homers and 52 RBIs.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

This series has been swings and pendulums all the way through.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

Short girls who take all the tall guys.

American professional tennis player
Appearance Body Sports

That boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Then I was skinnier, I hit it better, I putted better, and I could see better… other than that, everything is the same.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

Well, there goes our 26-game hitting streak.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

He knocks the hell out of people, but in a Christian way.

professional football player & coach
Beliefs Football Sports

Your financial cost can best be figured out when you realize that if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Slumps are like a soft bed; they're easy to get into and hard to get out of.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Most people play a fair game of golf… if you watch them.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports

If the fans don’t wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop ‘em

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Sports Yogi-isms

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating; I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

If I was playing third base and my mother rounded third with the winning run, I’d trip her up.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Family Mothers Sports

It is better to give a lick than receive one.

American football player
Football Sports

To say a good defensive center is more important than a high-scoring forward is like saying that the intestinal tract is more vital than the circulatory system.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

I’m really no different than anybody else; except that sometimes I get my name in the paper.

Canadian professional hockey player
Hockey People Self Sports