Subject: Sports (Page 76)

Daneyko got mad when Kaminski said he was going to knock his teeth out. Dano only has two teeth left, so you can't say that to Dano.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

I grabbed it and squeezed it back into place. It gave a little crunch and popped right in.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Sports

That sounded like he hit a roll of wet toilet paper.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

This is lap 54; after that, it’s 55, 56, 57, 58.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

You need two yards, I'll get you three. You need 10 yards, I'll get you three.

American football player
Football Sports

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

My golf is improving… yesterday I hit the ball in one!

Golf Sports

This fight will be the nastiest thing you'll ever see; I've been sober for six weeks, and that makes me vicious.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

The (orange) uniforms were already picked out by the time I got here. I didn't give it too much thought until I saw our buses and I said, `My God, we're dressed just like that bus.'

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

We're right next to Mile High Stadium. I'm no rocket scientist, but… uh… [smile]

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

He's about 3′1″… I tell him to get his nose off my kneecap.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Enos Cabell started here with the Astros… and before that he was with the Orioles.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Incompetence should not be confined to one sex.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

He was asked to throw out the first ball at a World Series game; but … he looked at the ball and, instead of throwing it, he put it in his pocket and sat down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Frugal Money Sports

When they list the great things of the 20th Century, they’ll say, penicillin, Sophia Loren, jet travel and ESPN.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Entertainment Sports Television

Dance with the one what brung ya.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I can tell you one thing. I've done this my way. I don't have anybody to blame for this win but me, and I love it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I never thought I'd lead the NBA in rebounding, but I got a lot of help from my teammates – they did a lot of missing.

professional basketball player
Basketball Sports