Subject: Sports (Page 77)

A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
People Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

We’re not afraid of challenges. It’s like we always say: if you want to go out in the rain, be prepared to get burned.

Mixed metaphors Sports

An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame – Southern Methodist University game and doesn’t care who wins.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Football Sports

If anyone wants me tell them I'm being embalmed.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

When I raced a car last it was at a time when sex was safe and racing was dangerous. Now, it’s the other way round.

German auto racer
Auto racing Sports

This is not even close to what I envisioned a no-hitter would be.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

The fans like to see Balde wear his "shirt on his sleeve."

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

They are like hot air dryers in public lavatories. They are a good idea, but take too long.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

We are the sort of people who make health insurance popular.

Canadian hockey goaltender
Health Hockey Sports

The trouble with officials is they just don't care who wins.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

We may have broken rules … but we did not cheat.

Connecticut basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

(1770 – 1850) English Romantic poet
Golf Sports

It was further than I thought.

Equatorial Guinea swimmer
Sports

The only thing Earl [Weaver] knows about big-league pitching is that he couldn't hit it.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

… riding a typical McCoy race where, with five lengths to go, he literally picks up the horse and carries it over the line.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

Michael Owen isn't the tallest of lads, but his height more than makes up for that.

English football player & announcer
Misspokements Sports