Subject: Sports (Page 77)

(Bruce) Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Most of my clichés aren’t original.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Characteristics Yogi-isms

We're so bad right now that for us back-to-back home runs means one today and another one tomorrow.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Rocky Marciano stood out in boxing like a rose in a garbage dump.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Boxing Sports

I must admit when Reggie hit his third home run and I was sure nobody was looking, I applauded in my glove.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

On his 916th game as coach at University of Alabama – I've been here so long that when I got here the Dead Sea wasn't even sick.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports Time

If he couldn't chip, he'd be selling cars in San Diego.

professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

How can you trust a man who can talk for five minutes and you can’t understand a sentence of it!

British and Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded – accordion-style – back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Hockey Sports

Next up is Fernando Gonzales, who is not playing tonight.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We raced the other day and it wasn't a photo finish… it was an oil painting.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

John Daly's longer than Greg Norman… he’s even longer than War and Peace.

American sports columnist
Golf Sports

All I had to do is keep turning left!

auto racer
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Contrary to the old wives' tale that bloody-minded trainers put around, a little love-in before the main event can do you more good than a rub-down with The Sporting Life.

English boxer
Boxing Sex Sports

Lennox Lewis has two chances of getting a rematch with McCall – no chance and slim. And slim has just left town.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Sports

Some people say George Foreman is fit as a fiddle, but I think he looks more like a cello.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

The new Haitian baseball can’t weigh more than four ounces or less than five.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports