Subject: Sports (Page 78)

Being traded is like celebrating your hundredth birthday… it might not be the happiest occasion in the world, but consider the alternative.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

We have deep depth.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

When Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in, I'll caddie for Jack.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

If the roof fell in and Diz was sitting in the middle of the room, everybody else would be buried and a gumdrop would fall in his mouth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

It’s just a job; grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand… I beat people up.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

When Sandy Koufax retired.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I won’t know until my barber tells me on Monday.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Most ball games are lost, not won.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

You feel guilty telling the batters to go out there and get a hit. They look at you funny, as is if to say, 'you try it.‘

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer
Communication Speech Sports

60 per cent of all the Aussies think Joe Bugner is something you find up the Queensland Premier's nose.

Sports

The crowd noise has gone up several octaves since the beginning of the game!

Misspokements Sports

On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

He wants Texas back.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

There’s no secret. You just press the accelerator to the floor and steer left.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

If a young guy asked me for advice on how to get into broadcasting, I’d say “Hit .350 or win the Heisman.”

baseball broadcaster
Sports

They are like hot air dryers in public lavatories. They are a good idea, but take too long.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. It’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed; like when I used to beat Ann Jones, she could hit under them or over them but never through them.

American professional tennis player
Body Sports

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports