Subject: Sports (Page 79)

Some guys play hockey… Gretzky plays 40 mph chess.

American sportswriter
Hockey Sports

Give me a man with big hands and big feet and no brains and I'll make a golfer out of him.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Jay Bell is 0-for-6 in this series with 10 homers and 52 RBIs.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I have nothing to say, and I’ll only say it once.

Hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Then there was that dark horse with the golden arm, Mudassar Nazar.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

It looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The Royal Hong Kong Club caddies hit the nail on the head; their term for golf – "Hittee ball, say damn."

Golf Sports

Say, when do they begin?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Sports

Some drivers grow the fruit. Others just come in and pick it.

British auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.

American writer
Golf Sports

If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Boxing is show-business with blood.

(1853 – 1931) American theatrical producer, impresario, director & playwright
Boxing Sports

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

I occasionally get birthday cards from fans, but it's often the same message… they hope it's my last.

American baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

You can always spot a motorcycle racer in a restaurant; he's the one gripping his fork with the first two fingers of his left hand.

American motorcycle racer
Sports

Arthur 'Dazzy' Vance could throw a cream puff through a battleship.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

It has made the richest prize in sport the richest prize in sport.

American boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sports

He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling.

(1909–1959) American boxing champion
Sports

My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat… I might be failing as a father.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Family Fathers Sports

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses, because they will want to keep playing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

I slept like a baby. Every two hours I woke up and cried.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports