Subject: Sports (Page 79)

I set records that will never be equaled; in fact, I hope 90% of them don’t even get printed.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one.

Golf Situations Sports

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

You can always get someone to do your thinking for you.

(1928 – ) Canadian professional ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

I had some bad days in the field… but I didn’t take them home with me. I left them in a bar along the way.

professional baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

I can close any cut in the world in 50 seconds, so long as it ain't a total beheading.

boxing cut-man
Boxing Sports

Sure, luck means a lot in football; not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

(1930 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I guess it's why you never say never. The only thing you can never do is ski through a revolving door.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

You drive for show, but putt for dough.

South African professional golfer
Golf Sports

My golf game's gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

They say something to me sometimes. But I don't understand all the words yet. So I smile at them and then I go score goal.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

My only feeling about superstition is that it’s unlucky to be behind at the end of the game.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Sports

I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.

American football player
Football Sports

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

He couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T.


Football Intelligence Sports

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I'd have a better chance of catching flies with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.

American boxer
Boxing Sports