Subject: Sports (Page 8)

We play a man-to-man defense. Person to person sounds like a telephone call.

Basketball Sports

Your financial cost can best be figured out when you realize that if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Marvelous oriental pace he's got, just like a Buddhist statue.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Children Sports

I’m not dropping a bar of soap in the shower near [kicker] Garo Yepremian.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Football Sports

Coaches are an integral part of any manager's team, especially if they are good pinochle players.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel’s suitcase.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

I think they bring me luck… I guess I'll have to like seafood now.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

American football player
Football Sports

When you hear someone shout "You da man" – if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man. 

newspaper sports columnist
Golf Sports

I think Jessel’s philosophy about golf was something like: If all you’re going to do is chase the ball, why hit it in the first place?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Golf Sports

Once bitten, it is akin to having your neck punctured in Transylvania… there is no known antidote.

golf course architect
Golf Sports

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

I don’t think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

If a contest had 97 prizes, the 98th would be a trip to Green Bay.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Hockey would be a great game… if played in the mud.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Hockey Sports

That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over sixty feet of peanut brittle.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

This is lap 54; after that, it’s 55, 56, 57, 58.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It would be unprintable on television.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports