Subject: Sports (Page 8)

You run for 45 minutes, you train for an hour and a half, and the rest of the time you just hang out and talk tough.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?"

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

American baseball player

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist

I’ve never seen a guy on the DL [Disabled List] with pulled fat.

professional baseball player

There is a thin line between genius and insanity, and in Larry's case it was sometimes so thin you could see him drifting back and forth.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager

The only sport where you can spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg. 

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)

George McGinnis has got the body of a Greek god and the running ability of a Greek goddess.

American sportscaster

When they operated, I told them to put in a Koufax fastball. They did, but it was Mrs. Koufax's.

professional baseball pitcher

The weak teams are Boston and New York; the strong ones are Toronto, Chicago, Montreal, and Gordie Howe.

professional hockey player

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.

golf writer

Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

I'm happy for him [Gil Hodges]; that is, if you think becoming a big league manager is a good thing to have happen to you.

American baseball manager

It’s nice to have a guy that young come along; we usually go out and find somebody who’s 47.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager

The announcement of the disqualification was greeted by booze from the spectators at the pool.

The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.

(1938 – ) American actor

You can shake a dozen glove men out of a tree, but the bat separates the men from the boys.

American baseball player

I’m the guy that made Joe DiMaggio famous.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player