Subject: Sports (Page 80)

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

You won't find a single four-letter word in there… I don't go for that bullshit.

(1918 – ) American baseball pitcher
Baseball Books Communication Sports

If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Golf Sports

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Anything happens in Grand Prix racing, and it usually does.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Misspokements Sports

He'll have a lot of fun. George will keep him in stitches.

boxing physician
Boxing Sports

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Clothing Golf Sports

If God wants to produce the ideal golfer then He should create a being with a set of unequal arms and likewise legs, an elbow-free left arm, knees which hinge sideways and a ribless torso from which emerges, at an angle of 45 degrees, a stretched neck fitted with one color-blind eye stuck firmly on the left side.

golf author
Golf Sports

He’s shown a lack of inconsistency.

Malaprops Sports

Most of my clichés aren’t original.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

A sense of humor and a good bullpen.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

Dave Wottle has completely misjudged this race… and here comes Wottle!

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Cricket is baseball on valium.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

It looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

There’s nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

First triple I ever had.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Sports

When I looked at the third base coach for a sign, he turned his back on me.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

The trial began in Lake Charles, Louisiana of a jockey accused of hiding his horse in dense fog to win a race at Evangeline Downs.

Sports

Years ago we had the Raging Bull, Jake LaMotta. Today, we've got the Raging Bullshit, Bruce Strauss.

boxing matchmaker
Boxing Sports