Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 81)
[boxing promoter] Bob Arum is one of the worst people in the western hemisphere. I don't know the eastern hemisphere very well, but I suspect he'd be one of the worst people there too, if he went.
Cus D'Amato
boxing manager & trainer
Boxing
Insults
Sports
Bob Arum
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.
Tim Allen
(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Golf
Sports
The place was cold, and I got the feeling that the fans would have enjoyed baseball more if it had been played with a hockey puck.
Andre Dawson
professional baseball player
Baseball
Hockey
Sports
On his time in Montreal
Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.
Florence King
(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Sports
Golf
Pointless
Scots
Telephone poles
He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual, too.
Don King
(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Misspokements
Sports
I'm going down so often these days you'd think I was making a blue movie.
John Conteh
English boxer
Boxing
Sports
After a bad defeat
Frank Bruno's fall was that of a felled oak. As the dust settled there was a silence, and then followed the gentle rustle of falling leaves of greenbacks.
Frank Keating
(1944 – ) British sportswriter
Boxing
Sports
Frank Bruno
Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle – once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.
Ron Luciano
(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball
Sports
Umpires
It would have been worse if we hadn't blocked the kick after Toronto's second touchdown.
Alex Delvecchio
Canadian hockey player
Hockey
Sports
After a 13-0 defeat
In his prime, Joe Bugner had the physique of a Greek statue, but he had fewer moves.
Hugh McIlvanney
(1934 – ) Scottish sports writer
Appearance
Body
Boxing
Sports
Joe Bugner
To win, you've got to put the ball in the macramé.
Terry McGuire
American basketball player
Basketball
Sports
You only have to bat 1.000 in two things—flying and heart transplants; everything else, you can go four in five.
'Beano' Cook
(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Sports
Excellence
Perfection
There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Problems
Sports
Fire
Everything was fine until I slid left and ran out of talent!
Don Garlits
the 'father of drag racing'
Auto racing
Sports
After a red light in the final
How can you call a foul on my man for using his eye to foul the other team’s player on his elbow?
Abe Lemons
(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball
Sports
Fouls
To a referee
I got a big charge out of seeing Ted Williams hit. Once in a while they let me try to field some of them, which sort of dimmed my enthusiasm.
Rocky Bridges
(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball
Sports
Of Ted Williams
Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.
Homero Blancas
professional golfer
Golf
Sports
Putting
When asked if he had any uphill putts
They can’t hit it while I’m standing here holding it.
‘Lefty’ Gomez
(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball
Sports
His reply to an umpire who asked why he was just standing there and not pitching to a batter
Pitching
Many continentals think life is a game, the English think cricket is a game.
George Mikes
(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Sports
Cricket
You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses, because they will want to keep playing.
Dave Barry
(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf
Sports
That is because I don't have one.
Fran Tarkenton
American football player
Football
Sports
Muscles
On how he never pulled a muscle during his career
Page 81 of 125
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