Subject: Sports (Page 81)

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

I came from a dirt farm, now I'm filthy rich.

American boxing champion
Boxing Money Sports

I know it's said that I can't punch, but you should see me putting the cat out at night.

boxer
Boxing Sports

Football kickers are like taxi cabs… you can always go out and hire another one.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

He's gonna need an industrial-strength toothpick to pick the leather out of his teeth. I'm gonna hit this man so hard he's gonna grow an Afro.

Canadian boxer
Boxing Sports

He's got a cut on his left eye… it's just below his eyebrow.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

It's not very often you get to see the Lone Ranger and Toronto in the same night.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports Wordplay

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Francesco Damiani punches with all the violence and bad intentions of Mahatma Gandhi.

American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

All of his saves have come during relief appearances.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Claudell Washington plays the outfield like he's trying to catch grenades.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.

American basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

Nah, I’m just a prizefighter.

(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

I had to pinch myself seeing the grassy knoll and the book suppository building.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Turner pulls into second with a sun-blown double.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
People Sports

I've only ever seen Errol Christie fight once before and that was the best I've ever seen him fight.

British boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Running a ball club is like raising kids who fall out of trees.

American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Everybody has a plan, ’till they get hit.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports