Subject: Sports (Page 81)

You hate to lose your teeth and the game, too.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

And there’s the man in the green flag!

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I looked up in the stands and I thought I saw my wife and kids booing.

American basketball Coach
Basketball Sports

Being thick isn’t an affliction if you’re a footballer, because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham works hard, he’s brave and he crosses a ball superbly. He treats a football like he does a wife – lovingly, with caresses.

English football player & manager
Sports

Hold when you're at home and don't hold when you're on the road.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

A lifetime of training for just 10 seconds.

American track & field athlete
Sports

My first priority is to finish above rather than beneath the ground.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Rugby is a game for the mentally deficient… that is why it was invented by the British. Who else but an Englishman could invent an oval ball?

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Sports

Do they leave it there during games?

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I used to play sports; then I realized you can buy trophies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Sports

We know he is a one-dimensional player, but it’s the dimension we don’t have.

Canadian sports broadcaster
Hockey Sports

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques; I've got a technique… it's called just go get the damn ball.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

It was fun until a kid came up to me and said, “My dad says you're getting old, you're going to die, and your autograph will be valuable.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years… or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Basketball Sports

Frankly, that’s tantamount to the head of the White Star line saying the company’s next voyage will be considered a success if it fares better than the Titanic.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you have enough horsepower.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Sports

Early in the year, after a bad game, I said to my kids in the car, this is my last year and the next day I was getting phone calls from the school about whether I was retiring.  And that was in October.

(1961 – ) Canadian hockey player & owner
Hockey Sports

I'm the gooney bird that walked to the bank. I'm doing better than most of those guys who said I was crazy.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Sports

When I asked the baseball writers why they haven't elected me to the Hall of Fame, they told me they thought I was still playing.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports