Subject: Sports (Page 84)

I wish I could play my normal game… just once.

Golf Sports

Rocky Marciano stood out in boxing like a rose in a garbage dump.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Boxing Sports

The best classroom of all times was about two car lengths behind Juan Manuel Fangio.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Auto racing Education Learning Sports

Here’s a guy who can use his arms and legs at the same time.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

Today, Pittsburgh beat the Pirates, 6 to 6!

American sportscaster
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

My face is my mask.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

That's the fastest time ever run – but it's not as fast as the world record.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

The lights are shining quite darkly.

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

If you lose your best cornerback and punter, I’d say that’s a double loss.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Football Misspokements Sports

They let you chase girls, they just don’t let you catch them.

Brigham Young University football player
Football Sports

Let’s face it, sports writers, we’re not hanging around with brain surgeons.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Intelligence People Sports

It is a full house at the Eden Gardens. Today, Calcutta is celebrating the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi!

cricket commentator
Misspokements Sports

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Sports is the toy department of human life, and Monday Night Football is the largest attraction in the toy department.

(1918 – 1995) American sports journalist & television commentator
Football Sports

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sex Sports

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball People Sports