Subject: Sports (Page 84)

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. 


(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Sports

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Frankly, that’s tantamount to the head of the White Star line saying the company’s next voyage will be considered a success if it fares better than the Titanic.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys, there’s no better feeling than to have that done.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

I never got many questions about my managing. I tried to get twenty-five guys who didn't ask questions.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

A big factor in the game was the number of points scored.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they’re running.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

That was a maximization of a minimization of hits.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

(1770 – 1850) English Romantic poet
Golf Sports

If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you have enough horsepower.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

When Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in, I'll caddie for Jack.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

My idea of managing is giving the ball to Tom Seaver and sitting down and watching him work.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes.

professional hockey player
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week… he is attending the birth of his next wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

It’s never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn’t.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Cricket is baseball on valium.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.

American basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Entertainment Film Sports