Subject: Sports (Page 85)

A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

I’m trying to kick your ass… in a nice way.

American professional tennis player
Sports

Tee your ball high… the air offers less resistance than dirt.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

They throw Winfield out at second, but he’s safe.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and the other foot in a bucket of ice; according to the percentage people, you should be about perfectly comfortable.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

He’s a big clog in their machine.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

A lot of the people who make these suggestions would have a hard time filling out the application forms to work at 7-Eleven.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

And it’s a long drive down the line to centerfield.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

If bullshit was poetry, Ray 'Boom Boom' Mancini's name would be 'Shakespeare.'

boxing manager
Boxing Sports

When you’re 21, you're a prospect; when you’re 30, you’re a suspect.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I know their mother… she'd give them all my plays.

college football coach
Family Football Sports

Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.

Definitions Golf Occupations

Statistics and records are baseball talk; they keep records like most times sliding into second base on a Tuesday.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Baseball Football Sports

I would order a dozen bats and there were times they’d come back with handles at each end.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

She doesn't pay me anything. I pay her. Besides, what position can she play?

Toronto Maple Leafs owner
Hockey Sports

Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Football Sports

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Speed has never killed anyone – suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.

English broadcaster, journalist & writer
Auto racing Sports

The University of Texas has only two major sports… football and spring football.

University of Texas Public Information Officer
Football Sports