Subject: Sports (Page 86)

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

They say losing builds character. I have all the character I need.

American football coach
Football Sports

There's a deep fly ball… Winfield goes back, back… his head hits the wall… it's rolling towards second base.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author
Football Sports

My goal is to deny yours.

Hockey Sports

The great thing about golf – and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it – you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer Food/Drink Golf Sports

If he'd just tip he cap once, he could be elected mayor of Boston in five minutes.

baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

Gossage puts guys like me on his cereal for breakfast. He's the most intimidating pitcher I've ever seen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball People Relationships Sports Women

My uncle always described an unforced error as his first marriage.

American journalist & tennis broadcaster
Marriage Sports

Owww… it caught ‘em right in the pants area.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Misspokements Sports

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

Little League baseball is a good thing ’cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Children Parents Sports Yogi-isms

There are two reasons for making a hole in one; the first is that it is immensely labor-saving.

Golf Sports

We get no respect. Everybody we play on the road has made us their homecoming game.

Indiana University football coach & sports commentator
Football Sports

I played golf with a priest the other day. He shot par-par-par-par-par. Finally I said to him, "Father, if you're playing golf like this you haven't been saving many souls lately.”

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

How hard is it to coach track? … tell ‘em to stay to the left and get back as fast as you can.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Sports

Detroit fans don't know anything about baseball. They couldn't tell the difference between baseball players and Japanese aviators.

American baseball player, manager & scout
Baseball Sports

And the line up for the final of the Women’s 400 metres hurdles includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a Swede and a Frenchman.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

What do you have when you've got an agent buried up to his neck in sand? … Not enough sand.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Basketball Sports

I’m not fat.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports