Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 86)
George Foreman can knock down an oak tree, but oak trees don't move.
Angelo Dundee
American boxing trainer
Boxing
Sports
Referring to Muhammad Ali
I don't think his hands could take the abuse.
Randall “Tex” Cobb
(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing
Sports
On whether he wanted a rematch with Larry Holmes
Football is a fertility festival: eleven sperm trying to get into the egg; I feel sorry for the goalkeeper.
Björk
(1965 – ) Icelandic singer-songwriter
Football
Sports
Fertility
Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.
Dennis Miller
(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football
Sports
The only way I'm going to get a Gold Glove is with a can of spray paint.
Reggie Jackson
professional baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Fielding
Gold Glove
I'll bet the hardest thing about prize fighting is picking up your teeth with a boxing glove on.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing
Sports
Reporter: To what do you attribute last night’s loss?
Dale Neal: To the fact that they scored more points than we did.
Dale Neal
Misspokements
Sports
I am the most loyal player money can buy.
Don Sutton
professional baseball player
Misspokements
Sports
Pitcher for five different teams
I guess it's why you never say never. The only thing you can never do is ski through a revolving door.
Lou Nanne
hockey coach
Hockey
Sports
Optimistically, you hope someday you’ll be in a magazine. Of course, your mom hopes it’s
Sports Illustrated
or something like that.
Dan Hinote
American hockey player & coach
Hockey
Sports
About his interview in “Penthouse” magazine
Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Hitting
Pitching
I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People
Self
Sports
Athlete's foot
I’ve been in the twilight of my career longer than most people have had a career.
Martina Navratilova
(1956 – ) Czech American tennis player
Sports
Time
Careers
Tennis
People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.
Craig ‘Ironhead’ Heyward
American football player
Football
Sports
I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time.
Mark Kaylor
British boxer
Boxing
Intelligence
Misspokements
Sports
Thinking
Playing goal is like being shot at.
Jacques Plante
professional hockey goalie
Hockey
Sports
Goalies
Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern.
Art Spander
American sportswriter
Basketball
Sports
Let me know if Cain is able.
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
On injured Atlanta Falcon running back Lynn Cain
The safest place would be in the fairway.
Joe Garagiola
(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Golf
Sports
Before teeing off at a golf tournament
Man's got courage. Man's got guts. And I don't think he'll be with us very long.
Jerry Glanville
professional football & TV commentator
Football
Sports
On 49ers QB SteveYoung after Young took a pounding from the Falcons
It gets late out there early.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball
Yogi-isms
A ballpark's sun conditions
Page 86 of 125
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