Subject: Sports (Page 87)

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn’t even started.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Just give me 25 guys on the last year of their contract; I’ll win a pennant every year.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

You can't see a digital clock because there isn't one.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I didn’t hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Football Sports

I’ll have a cup of tea.

Kenyan runner
Sports

Marshall's bowling with his head.

Misspokements Sports

He's about 3′1″… I tell him to get his nose off my kneecap.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Never in the ring of human conflict have so few taken so much from so many.

American boxer
Boxing Sports Wordplay

I used to think the only use for it [sport] was to give small boys something else to kick besides me.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Sports

Alesi is in second place, and Hill is in second place.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It would have been worse if we hadn't blocked the kick after Toronto's second touchdown.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Occupations Sports Work

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

As a runner Daley Thompson is excellent, as a jumper he is excellent, and as a thrower he is an excellent runner and jumper.

British journalist, author, commentator & coach
Misspokements Sports

Only if it's held in a phone booth.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

It's not very often you get to see the Lone Ranger and Toronto in the same night.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports Wordplay

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

Earnie Shavers hit me, man, and knocked me face down on the canvas. I was in the land of make believe. I heard saxophones, trombones. I saw little blue rats, and they were all smoking cigars and drinking whisky.

American boxer
Boxing Sports