Subject: Sports (Page 87)

You may be right, but it hasn’t reached his legs yet!

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

I'd spend six months behind bars to have him on my team.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

A woman will be elected president before Wade Boggs is called out on strikes.

(1953 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I'd have been more active in there, if only I'd been a little more sober.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

You used to think if the score was 5-0, he'd hit a five-run home run.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports

To win in the slowest possible time.

Australian race car driver
Auto racing Sports

The only way I'm going to get a Gold Glove is with a can of spray paint.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

He looks up at him through blood smeared lips.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

He (Gaylord Perry) should be in the Hall of Fame with a tube of KY jelly attached to his plaque.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Health Sports

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

It’s almost like we have ESPN.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

A coach isn't as smart as people say he is when he's wins, or as stupid as when he loses.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Intelligence Sports

Because she is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye.

(1923 – 2013) American professional football coach
Sports

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Three things can happen when you put a [foot]ball in the air – and two of them are bad.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Football Sports

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

American comedian
Dating Relationships Sports

They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them; golf is more complicated than that.

(1927 – 1998) American professional golfer
Death Golf Sports

There are only two categories in cliff diving; there's 'Grand Champion' and 'Stuff on a Rock.'

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Activities Sports