Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 87)
Many mens have fell and stumbled when they meet big George in that square jungle.
Wladimir Klitschko
Ukrainian heavyweight boxing champion
Boxing
Sports
Of George Foreman
To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Career
The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Sports
Knuckleballs
Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game in ’81
Headline
Headlines
Sports
Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.
Art Rosenbaum
(1912 – 2003) American sports writer
Characteristics
Golf
Honesty
Lies
Sports
That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes.
Stu Grimson
professional hockey player
Hockey
Misspokements
Sports
We had a very scientific system of bringing in relief pitchers. We used the first one who answered the phone.
Chuck Estrada
American baseball pitcher & pitching coach
Baseball
Sports
Bullpen
Pitching
I’m a golfer – not an athlete.
Lee Westwood
professional golfer
Golf
Misspokements
Sports
That slow motion doesn't show how fast the ball was traveling.
Richie Benaud
Australian cricketer & commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Jim Bishop
(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf
Sports
I can take it but I can't dish it out.
Randall “Tex” Cobb
(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing
Sports
Baseball's a very simple game. All you have to do is sit on your butt, spit tobacco, and nod at the stupid things your manager says.
Bill Lee
American baseball pitcher
Baseball
Sports
When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.
Dave Stockton
American professional golfer
Golf
Science/Weather
Sports
Wind
He is not in a union; he can carry the ball as many times as we want him to… anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much.
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
On O.J. Simpson carrying the ball 47 times in a USC
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf… I think it was my ex-wife.
Bruce Lansky
(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf
Sports
Most people play a fair game of golf… if you watch them.
Joey Adams
(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf
Sports
Cheating
I’m no different from anybody else with two arms, two legs, and 4,200 hits.
Pete Rose
American baseball player
Baseball
Sports
I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?
Ray Floyd
American professional golfer
Golf
Sports
On turning 50 and qualifying for the Senior Tour
I sure hope you’re staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Brooks [Robinson] never asked anyone to name a candy bar after him; in Baltimore, people named their
children
after him.
Gordon Beard
sports writer
Baseball
Sports
Ego
In reference to Reggie Jackson
When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.
Sam Snead
(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf
Sports
Advice
To his caddie
Page 87 of 125
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