Subject: Sports (Page 88)

Dracula and LSU football are at their best after the sun goes down.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play softball on the weekends.

American stand-up comedian
Relationships Situations Sports

I'm glad it happened in front of the library. I've always emphasized scholarship.

Kansas State football oach
Football Sports

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event.

American comedian
Dating Relationships Sports

The good chip allows you to whistle while you walk in the dark alleys of golf.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Tell me where you want to go. If they have a team, I'll schedule them.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

Nice guys finish last.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

Watching Connors and McEnroe play was a little bit like watching the Indianapolis 500. You know that a good portion of the crowd was there not to see them play, but to explode.

American sportswriter, author & commentator
Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

Why does everybody stand up and sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sex Sports

And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn’t surprising as this is an all Escort race.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

He’s easy to do. Sit on the bench. Play about 10 minutes a game.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

I’m not playing favorites… all my favorites have graduated.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I’ll bet the hardest thing about prize fightin’ is pickin’ up yer teeth with a boxin’ glove on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing Sports

If I'd known I was going to pitch a no-hitter today, I would have gotten a haircut.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

All we need is a little bit of luck and we could explode.

British rugby coach
Sports

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

American baseball player
Baseball Life Sports