Subject: Sports (Page 89)

For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life… but there was a flag on the play!

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Life Problems Sports

The wrong quarterback is the one that’s in there.

Football Murphy’s Laws Sports

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

professional hockey referee
Hockey Sports

And he’s got the icepack on his groin there, so it’s possibly not the old shoulder injury.

English rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

The front wheel crosses the finish line, closely followed by the back wheel.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive
Basketball Intelligence

You don't have to be a Harvard professor to manage baseball; in fact, I think you're better off having an IQ like mine.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports

How would you know, Sean? When I was playing you were in your 3rd year of 8th grade?

Canadian hockey player & commentator
Hockey Sports

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

I think you enjoy the game more if you don't know the rules. Anyway, you're on the same wavelength as the referees.

Welsh rugby player
Sports

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer.

Anglo-Irish golfer
Golf Sports

Baseball is a game which consists of tapping a ball with a piece of wood, then running like a lunatic.

Baseball Sports

It’s Steffi’s [Graf] forehand off both sides.

(1954 – ) American professional tennis player
Sports

I'll bet the hardest thing about prize fighting is picking up your teeth with a boxing glove on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing Sports

It actually giggles at you as it goes by.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

I've been knocked down more than any heavyweight champion in history, but I consider that a compliment, because I must have got up more than any heavyweight champion.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball; I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

(1934 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Golf

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air.


Basketball Sports

I led the league in “Go get ‘em next time.”

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Sports

Tighten the loose ends and loosen the tight ends.

American football player
Football Sports