Subject: Sports (Page 89)

You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedes-Benz.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Fights Hockey Sports

Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Basketball Sports

I'm probably the only guy who worked for (Casey) Stengel before and after he was a genius.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports Wordplay

If we hadn’t given them those first four touchdowns, it might have been different.

American football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

Throw strikes – home plate don't move.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

It would be like the elephants standing up on two feet. It would be like the man being shot out of the cannon. It would be like a woman with a beard down to the floor. It would be the greatest show on earth.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports Things

He ran out of talent about halfway through the corner.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

He looks up at him through blood smeared lips.

British sports commentator
Boxing Misspokements Sports

You may be right, but it hasn’t reached his legs yet!

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

I can tell you it’s a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through.

New Zealand rugby player & commentator
Misspokements Sports

I went to church the other day to pray for our pitchers… but there wasn't enough candles.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

Coaches are an integral part of any manager's team, especially if they are good pinochle players.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

It's going to be nice to be embarrassed in practice instead of games.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Hockey is a mans game children can play, the other sports are children’s games that men play.

Hockey Sports

I throw the ball as hard as ever, but it just takes longer to get to the plate.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Money Sports