Subject: Sports (Page 89)

The three things I fear most in golf are lightening, Ben Hogan, and a downhill putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Jay Bell is 0-for-6 in this series with 10 homers and 52 RBIs.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident… herpes.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Health Sports

I don't think you ever stopped Bobby Orr. You contained him.  He was too talented and too great a player.  When we played the Bruins and Bobby had to give up the puck it was a good play.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive
Basketball Intelligence

Urban should know. Almost 30 of his players have been arrested over the years, so he apparently knows a bad guy when he sees one.

sports reporter
Football Sports

I go from locker to locker, pretending the guys are here. You know, give them a little bit of a pep talk. It must be working, because we haven't lost a game yet.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports

I don’t like dogs… keep getting mustard on my catcher’s mitt.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

When the camera focuses on a male athlete he will spit, pick or scratch.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

If the Cincinnati Reds were the first major league baseball team… who did they play?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Baseball Sports

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports

The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team; it seems as if they have their future ahead of them.

(1919 – 2006) American sports announcer
Future Misspokements Sports Things

They should move first base back one step to eliminate all those close plays.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. I don’t know where else we can play.

Canadian hockey coach, general manager & commentator
Hockey Sports

If Marc Bulger throws an interception in Sun Devil Stadium and nobody is there to see it, is it still an interception?

American sports writer
Football Sports

Golf is my real profession – show business pays my greens fees.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Golf Sports

I was offered a spot in an ad for neutering pets… not exactly what I had in mind.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

Ozzie Smith just made a play that I have never seen before; and he’s done it more times than anyone else.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I have a lifetime contract. That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports