Subject: Sports (Page 89)

I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin underwear, fighting over a belt? … the one who wins gets a purse… they do it in gloves. It's the accessory connection I love.

American comedian
Boxing Sports

I’ll bet the hardest thing about prize fightin’ is pickin’ up yer teeth with a boxin’ glove on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Boxing Sports

Anytime you hold Dallas to a one touchdown, it's not all bad.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Sports

It'll take three good ones to be on in two today, Sir.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

My wife made me a millionaire. Before she divorced me, I had three million.

professional hockey player
Divorce Hockey Marriage Misspokements Sports

We may have broken rules … but we did not cheat.

Connecticut basketball coach
Basketball Sports

James 'Cool Papa' Bell was so fast, one time he hit a line drive right back past my ear. I turned round and saw the ball hit his ass sliding into second.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Little League baseball is a good thing ’cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Children Parents Sports Yogi-isms

 I don't think we've been beaten by officials more than five times this season.

college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Government People Sports

I won't say Wilt Chamberlain is the strongest man I've ever known, but when he wipes the sweat off his brow, people in the balcony get a bath.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident… herpes.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Health Sports

Give me a man with big hands and big feet and no brains and I'll make a golfer out of him.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Turner looks a bit shaky and unsteady, but I think he's going to bat on – one ball left.

Sports

His throw went absolutely nowhere near where it was going.

Australian cricketer & commentator
Misspokements Sports

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Golf Sports

[Coach Vince] Lombardi treats us all the same… like dogs.

professional football player
Football Sports

I know their mother… she'd give them all my plays.

college football coach
Family Football Sports

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game, it’s that they stay out all night looking for it.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sex Sports