Subject: Sports (Page 9)

You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you.

American baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports

If defensive linemen’s IQs were 5 points lower, they’d be geraniums.

American football player
Football Intelligence Sports

Have another donut you fat pig!

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

Football kickers are like taxi cabs… you can always go out and hire another one.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Football Sports

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

Alan Shepard walking on the moon found a golf ball with Gerald Ford’s initials on it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

The way he’s swinging the bat, he won’t get a hit until the 20th century.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The number one thing about trouble is… don't get into more.

American professional golfer
Golf Problems Sports

I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic; we have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

He's the second-best goalie on the ice.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

We need three kinds of pitching: left handed, right handed, and relief.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.

English former football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

90% of the putts that are short don’t go in.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms

Howard Cosell is nobody’s fool. He’s everybody’s fool.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion’s race.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Occupations People Sports Work

Being traded is like celebrating your hundredth birthday… it might not be the happiest occasion in the world, but consider the alternative.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

She literally wiped the court with her opponent.

Misspokements Sports

Sooner or later, the lame, the halt, and the blind all seek refuge with us.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Health Sports

It ain't nuthin' until I call it.

American baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

 It’s obvious these Russian swimmers are determined to do well on American soil.

British swimmer & sports commentator
Misspokements Sports