Subject: Sports (Page 9)

A big factor in the game was the number of points scored.

(1939 – ) American football player & coach
Football Misspokements Sports

John Conteh has a neck like a stately home staircase.

English boxer
Appearance Body Boxing Sports

Hockey’s the only place where a guy can go nowadays and watch two white guys fight.


(1938 – 2017) American sportswriter & novelist
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

It would have been a good pass if Harry had been playing for us.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

On the road when you go downstairs for coffee in your underwear, they throw you out of the kitchen.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Winning isn’t everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Sports

You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out.

American baseball umpire
Baseball People Sports Women

I don't know, I've never hit myself.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Virginia has already spent more on plugging Shawn Moore for the Heisman Trophy than Thomas Jefferson spent getting elected president.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Activities Football Government Money Sports

For Michigan fans, football is a religion. And the Ohio State game is Easter.

(1948 – 2003) American actor
Football Sports TV/Movie Quotes

I can close any cut in the world in 50 seconds, so long as it ain't a total beheading.

boxing cut-man
Boxing Sports

I always insist that my team be in bed before breakfast.

English cricketer
Sports

Fernando Valenzuela is the pitcher whose name sounds like a mailing address in the Lower Andes.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I went to church the other day to pray for our pitchers… but there wasn't enough candles.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I reckon I tried everything on the old apple, but salt and pepper and chocolate sauce topping.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

He doesn’t cook well.

American professional tennis player
Sports

She’s not [runner] Ben Johnson… but then, who is.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Cleveland’s Colon Has Emerged Smelling Like a Rose

Baseball Headlines Sports

Cricket needs brightening up a bit. My solution is to let the players drink at the beginning of the game, not after. It always works in our picnic matches.

Australian actor
Sports

Golf is not a game, it’s bondage; it was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

Golf Sports