Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 90)
I try to play golf at least once a day.
Darrell Royal
(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football
Golf
Sports
On his responsibilities as a special assistant to the president of the University of Texas
Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.
Dennis Miller
(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football
Sports
Detroit Lions
Losing
In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.
Howie Long
American football player & commentator
Football
Sports
Terry Bradshaw
Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Insults
Misspokements
Sports
Joe Bugner fought Bruno like the objective of boxing was to get hit on the jaw.
Jim Jacobs
boxing film collector
Boxing
Sports
Joe Bugner
For Michigan fans, football is a religion. And the Ohio State game is Easter.
John Ritter
(1948 – 2003) American actor
Football
Sports
TV/Movie Quotes
As Paul Hennessy in 8 Simple Rules
Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.
Unknown
Hockey
Sports
Dentists
Marshall's bowling with his head.
Unknown cricket commentator
Misspokements
Sports
Cricket
People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.
Craig ‘Ironhead’ Heyward
American football player
Football
Sports
Golf isn’t a game, it’s a choice that one makes with one’s life.
Charles Rosin
screenwriter & producer
Golf
Sports
Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.
John Vanbiesbrouck
American hockey goaltender
Hockey
Sports
When asked if he enjoyed facing 51 shots in a game
Next up is Fernando Gonzales, who is not playing tonight.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
And he’s done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
I wish I could play my normal game… just once.
Anonymous
Golf
Sports
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
Martin Mull
(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Situations
Sports
Bowling alley
Brains
You run for 45 minutes, you train for an hour and a half, and the rest of the time you just hang out and talk tough.
Randall “Tex” Cobb
(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing
Sports
On the typical day of a pro boxer
Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.
Richard M. Nixon
(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government
Politics
Sports
Olympics
You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church.
Bill Lee
American baseball pitcher
Baseball
Sports
His nerves, his memory… and I can’t remember the third thing.
Lee Trevino
(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf
Misspokements
Sports
On the three things that go as a golfer ages
"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf; the other is "Wear it if it clashes."
Henry Beard
(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of
National Lampoon
)
Appearance
Clothing
Golf
Sports
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Marshall's bowling with his head.