Subject: Sports (Page 90)

The best way to die is to sit under a tree, eats lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer and blow up.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Death Football Sports

My nose didn't move… it definitely had position.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

And the line up for the final of the Women’s 400 metres hurdles includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a Swede and a Frenchman.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

He (Julio Cesar Chavez) speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual, too.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Misspokements Sports

I told you I needed to feed my family; they offered me 3 years at $21 million – that’s not going to cut it.

professional basketball player
Basketball Money Sports

There’s someone warming up in the bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

The referee is the most important man in the ring besides the two fighters.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

It would be like the elephants standing up on two feet. It would be like the man being shot out of the cannon. It would be like a woman with a beard down to the floor. It would be the greatest show on earth.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Nelson Piquet looks like a jockey being strapped into his car. Alan Jones looks like a commando on his way to Vietnam.

British auto racer & executive
Auto racing Sports

He shortened my career having to chase him around the ice all the time.

Canadian ice hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

I knew when my career was over; in 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game – until Jesus made me fumble; he hates our team.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Sports

Golf is like love. One day you think you are too old and the next day you want to do it again.

Argentinian professional golfer
Golf Sports

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

(1927 – ) British journalist & author
Golf Sports