Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 90)
Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
Sam Snead
(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf
Sports
The final score after eight innings is Giants 3, Padres 2.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
I do not speak the English so good, but then I speak the driving very well.
Emerson Fittipaldi
Brazilian auto racer
Auto racing
Sports
Most ball games are lost, not won.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
Sports
The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.
Tommy Bolt
(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Beliefs
Golf
Honesty
Lies
Sports
Liars
If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.
Rita Rudner
(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men
People
Sports
Television
Playoffs
Baseball is a lot like the Army, there aren't many individuals. About the only difference is that baseball players get to stay in nice hotels instead of barracks.
Bill Lee
American baseball pitcher
Baseball
Sports
Nice guys finish last.
Leo Durocher
(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball
Sports
There’ll be only one winner now – in every sense.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs
Misspokements
Sports
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
Lee Trevino
(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf
Sports
Pressure
Putting
… standing there making a sitting target of himself.
Terry Lawless
English boxing manager & trainer
Boxing
Misspokements
Sports
Gentlemen, start your coffins.
Jim Murray
(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Auto racing
Sports
Of the Indianapolis 500 auto race
We were tipping off our plays; whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was as pale as a ghost.
John Breen
professional football executive
Football
Misspokements
Sports
In boxing the right cross-counter is distinctly one of those things it is more blessed to give than to receive.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Boxing
Sports
Punches
In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the
piss and mitch
one.
Tony Greig
Sports
Wordplay
Cricket
Pitch and miss
Spoonerism
He can run anytime he wants; I’m giving him the
red light.
‘Yogi' Berra
(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball
Sports
Yogi-isms
Green light
Stealing bases
Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.
Tim Gavel
Sports
Cricket
I'd spend six months behind bars to have him on my team.
Terry Crisp
Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey
Sports
On Mario Lemiuex
The music sounds better, the wine tastes sweeter and the girls look better when we win.
Mark Grace
professional baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Winning
The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there’s no advantage.
Barry Sheene
British motorcycle road racer
Misspokements
Sports
Motorcycle racing
George Foreman can knock down an oak tree, but oak trees don't move.
Angelo Dundee
American boxing trainer
Boxing
Sports
Referring to Muhammad Ali
Page 90 of 125
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