Subject: Sports (Page 90)

We raced the other day and it wasn't a photo finish… it was an oil painting.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I never make predictions and I never will.

English football player
Misspokements Sports

Being traded is like celebrating your hundredth birthday… it might not be the happiest occasion in the world, but consider the alternative.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Baseball Sports

Brundle is driving an absolutely pluperfect race.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

You can shake a dozen glove men out of a tree, but the bat separates the men from the boys.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes; now how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

I don’t care what the tape says… I didn’t say it.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.

Golf Sports

If it's your brain, you'll be fine. That's the smallest organ in your body.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

He's gonna need an industrial-strength toothpick to pick the leather out of his teeth. I'm gonna hit this man so hard he's gonna grow an Afro.

Canadian boxer
Boxing Sports

He [Magic Johnson] comes into the league with all that fancy stuff and they call it magic; I’ve been doing it for years and they call it schoolyard.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Cold Football Science/Weather Sports

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Conversation Men People Speech Sports Women

Tell you what, you keep the salary and I'll keep me the cut.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Baseball is like church…. many attend, few understand.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports

I never did say that you can’t be a nice guy and win; I said that if I was playing third base and my mother rounded third with the winning run, I’d trip her.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Life Sports

Me and George and Billy are two of a kind.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

I've been knocked down more than any heavyweight champion in history, but I consider that a compliment, because I must have got up more than any heavyweight champion.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I went to church the other day to pray for our pitchers… but there wasn't enough candles.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports