Subject: Sports (Page 90)

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

The final score after eight innings is Giants 3, Padres 2.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

I do not speak the English so good, but then I speak the driving very well.

Brazilian auto racer

Most ball games are lost, not won.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer

If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Baseball is a lot like the Army, there aren't many individuals. About the only difference is that baseball players get to stay in nice hotels instead of barracks.

American baseball pitcher

Nice guys finish last.

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager

There’ll be only one winner now – in every sense.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

… standing there making a sitting target of himself.

English boxing manager & trainer

Gentlemen, start your coffins.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

We were tipping off our plays; whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was as pale as a ghost.

professional football executive

In boxing the right cross-counter is distinctly one of those things it is more blessed to give than to receive.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.


He can run anytime he wants; I’m giving him the red light.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

Glenn McGrath joins Craig McDermott and Paul Reiffel in a three-ponged prace attack.


I'd spend six months behind bars to have him on my team.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster

The music sounds better, the wine tastes sweeter and the girls look better when we win.

professional baseball player

The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there’s no advantage.

British motorcycle road racer

George Foreman can knock down an oak tree, but oak trees don't move.

American boxing trainer