Subject: Sports (Page 91)

We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass.

English football player & manager
Sports

It was cool, man, but I’m a little depressed they didn’t have a buffet.

300+ pound American football player
Food/Drink Football Sports

Detroit fans don't know anything about baseball. They couldn't tell the difference between baseball players and Japanese aviators.

American baseball player, manager & scout
Baseball Sports

He's the second-best goalie on the ice.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can’t hit one another. 

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Hockey Sports

High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating. 

Hockey Sports

Alesi is in second place, and Hill is in second place.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

That's the fastest time ever run – but it's not as fast as the world record.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

The way he’s swinging the bat, he won’t get a hit until the 20th century.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Part of the learning curve in Edmonton is learning to hate Calgary.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Only if it's held in a phone booth.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

professional golfer
Misspokements Sports

It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Tom.

basketball coach
Misspokements Sports

It’s a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Golf Sports

I'll go another 15 rounds with Holmes if Howard will quit announcing football!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports