Subject: Sports (Page 91)

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

You might be a redneck if… your high school basketball game got rained out.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Basketball People Rednecks Sports

Sleep came as it must come to all British heavyweights, midway in the fifth round.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Boxing Sports

We lost some mighty good boys from last year because of paroles, but, crime being what it is, we've picked up some good ones since then, too.

basketball coach
Basketball Sports

What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?

English football player, manager & sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be. You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Cycling's a good thing for the youngsters, because it keeps them off the streets.

Children Sports

Claudell Washington plays the outfield like he's trying to catch grenades.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

The crowd noise has gone up several octaves since the beginning of the game!

Misspokements Sports

When you’re 21, you're a prospect; when you’re 30, you’re a suspect.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Baseball is dull only to those with dull minds.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Intelligence People Sports

Reporter: To what do you attribute last night’s loss?

Dale Neal: To the fact that they scored more points than we did.

Misspokements Sports

That sounded like he hit a roll of wet toilet paper.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.

American baseball player
Baseball Science/Weather Sports Time

Louise Goodman to British racing driver Johnny Herbert: Johnny, it's started to rain, how will that affect the track?

Herbert’s reply: Well, it makes it wet usually.

British racing driver
Auto racing Sports

He can do it the hard way, get beat up for 12 rounds and end up in the hospital. Or, he can do it the easy way, get hit on the chin and go to sleep.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

I'd have a better chance of catching flies with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prison they let you play softball on the weekends.

American stand-up comedian
Relationships Situations Sports

Grubb goes back, back… he’s under the warning track and makes the play.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports