Subject: Sports (Page 92)

The gap between the two cars is 0.9 of a second, which is less than one second.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports Time

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Basketball Sports

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie – and an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

The goal is too small and the goalies are too big.

Canadian hockey coach
Hockey Sports

I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I'm up to six foot five inches.

American boxer
Appearance Boxing Sports

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Government People Sports

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American football coach
Activities Education Football Misspokements School Sports

Career highlights?… I had two; I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

The Royal Hong Kong Club caddies hit the nail on the head; their term for golf – "Hittee ball, say damn."

Golf Sports

He was asked to throw out the first ball at a World Series game; but … he looked at the ball and, instead of throwing it, he put it in his pocket and sat down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Frugal Money Sports

Any umpire who lasts five years in the minor leagues deserves to be immortalized; any umpire who lasts ten or more years in the minors deserves to be institutionalized.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Anytime you hold Dallas to a one touchdown, it's not all bad.

Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports

I've never seen driving as a sexual thing – I just could never consider it in that light. I think women are interested in the drivers because of the dangers, but some of us are as dull as Old Nick.

Scottish auto racer
Auto racing People Sports Women

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Everything Tyson's got has 'goodnight' written on it.

American boxing referee
Boxing Sports

Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

He ran out of talent about halfway through the corner.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

Can I bite him?

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

It’s lap 26 of 58, which unless I’m very much mistaken is half way.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

My face is my mask.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

A good ball club.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms