Subject: Sports (Page 95)

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him forf the entire weekend.


Activities Sports

Why is a puck called a puck? Because ‘dirty little bastard’ was taken.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

The three important elements of hockey are: forecheck, backcheck and paycheck.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight.

wife of fighter Joe Bugner
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out of doors.

Golf Sports

It was an ideal day for football – too cold for the spectators and too cold for the players.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Cold Football Science/Weather Sports

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentlemen's game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.

Football Sports

Yeah… it’s called defense, I mean I wouldn't know anything about it personally but I've heard about it through the grapevine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

I’m really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who’ve been around here for six or seven years, especially our seniors.

college football player
Football Misspokements Sports

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Every time a puck gets past me and I look back into the net, I say, ‘uh-oh.'

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter, that the only thing I knew about pitching was that it was hard to hit.

American baseball player & commentator
Baseball Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf Sports

 The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey; the old ballplayer cared about the name on the front… the new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports

I’ve been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak; the good part is that they don’t make posters of those guys.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

You can put that in one word… world class darts!

British sports commentator
Sports