Subject: Sports (Page 96)

You don’t realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.

(1931 – 1995) American baseball player

Whore – Amazing Happen NBA

I don’t know… I’ve never smoked it.

(1943 – ) American football player

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Ernie Irvan could go bear hunting with a switch. He ain't never afraid.

American auto racer

 A good fighting club will beat a club that has superstars on it every time.

Canadian hockey coach & general manager

Slumps are like a soft bed; they're easy to get into and hard to get out of.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player

To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom too.

professional football player

I don't mind starting the season with a bunch of unknowns. I just don't like finishing a season with a bunch of them.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker

A slump starts in your head and winds up in your stomach.

American baseball player

I'm not surprised. The referee is a fine Catholic fellow by the name of Patrick Murphy.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach

A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?"

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

History must repeat itself because we pay such little attention to it the first time.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter

Emotion disappears about the sixth time that guy hits you in the mouth and you realize those tears in your eyes are not because of dear old alma mater.

American football coach

The only reason we’re 7-0 is because we’ve won all seven of our games.

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Moonshiners put more time, energy, thought, and love into their cars than any racer ever will. Lose on the track, and you go home. Lose with a load of whiskey, and you go to jail.

American auto racer

My beard is the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's look good.

American basketball player

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Frentzen is taking… er… reducing that gap between himself and Frentzen.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator