Subject: Sports (Page 96)

He's as old as some trees.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Age Hockey Old Sports

Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.

Golf Misspokements Sports

For over 20 years the Boston Celtics have stood for something. The only thing they stand for now is the [national] anthem.

American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

You need two yards, I'll get you three. You need 10 yards, I'll get you three.

American football player
Football Sports

I always have this dream that the guy coming in last for diving is going to do a cannonball for our amusement. – Olympic Diving

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

How hard is it to coach track? … tell ‘em to stay to the left and get back as fast as you can.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Sports

At all those banquets, stars get up and give credit to their coaches and parents; I give credit to no one; I made myself what I am today.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports Success

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident… herpes.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Health Sports

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

I was never nervous when I had the ball, but when I let go I was scared to death.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Muhammad Ali was on a plane when a stewardess asked him to fasten his seat belt. Ali told the lady: Superman don't need no seat belt.
The stewardess told the champ: Superman don't need no plane!

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I’m going down so often these days you’d think I was making a blue movie.

English boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sex Sports

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Children Sports

Tom.

basketball coach
Misspokements Sports

The current version of Buster Mathis [Jr.] boasts not just a Michelin man waist but an embonpoint thai would give him a better shot at starring in the next Wonderbra poster than winning a boxing title.

Boxing Sports

First triple I ever had.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Frank Leahy was here [Notre Dame] for three years and went to war; I think sometimes that would be a welcome relief to get away from the pressures.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

That boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Well, I see in the game in Minnesota that Terry Felton has relieved himself on the mound in the second inning.

sportscaster & former professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports