Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 96)
You don’t realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.
Mickey Mantle
(1931 – 1995) American baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Whore – Amazing Happen NBA
Translation
Signs
Sports
Translations
On a basketball video game in Japan
I don’t know… I’ve never smoked it.
Joe Namath
(1943 – ) American football player
Activities
Sports
Astroturf
When asked if he preferred Astroturf to grass
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
P.J. O'Rourke
(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Golf
Sports
I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
Sports
Hitting
Intentional walks
Ernie Irvan could go bear hunting with a switch. He ain't never afraid.
Buddy Baker
American auto racer
Auto racing
Emotions
Fear
Sports
Ernie Irvan
A good fighting club will beat a club that has superstars on it every time.
Punch Imlach
Canadian hockey coach & general manager
Hockey
Sports
Slumps are like a soft bed; they're easy to get into and hard to get out of.
Johnny Bench
(1947 – ) professional baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Hitting
Slumps
To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom too.
Matt Millen
professional football player
Football
Misspokements
Sports
Upon hearing Joe Jacoby say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl.”
I don't mind starting the season with a bunch of unknowns. I just don't like finishing a season with a bunch of them.
Lou Holtz
(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football
Sports
A slump starts in your head and winds up in your stomach.
Billy Williams
American baseball player
Baseball
Sports
Hitting slumps
I'm not surprised. The referee is a fine Catholic fellow by the name of Patrick Murphy.
John McKay
(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football
Sports
When asked about the officiating after a series of questionable calls against Notre Dame
A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?"
‘Lefty’ Gomez
(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball
Intelligence
Sports
Thinking
Pitching
History must repeat itself because we pay such little attention to it the first time.
Blackie Sherrod
(1919 – ) American sportswriter
History
Sports
Time
Emotion disappears about the sixth time that guy hits you in the mouth and you realize those tears in your eyes are not because of dear old alma mater.
Bill Curry
American football coach
Football
Sports
The only reason we’re 7-0 is because we’ve won all seven of our games.
David Garcia
Misspokements
Sports
If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.
Tommy Lasorda
Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball
Sports
On catcher Mike Scioscia’s lack of speed
Moonshiners put more time, energy, thought, and love into their cars than any racer ever will. Lose on the track, and you go home. Lose with a load of whiskey, and you go to jail.
Junior Johnson
American auto racer
Auto racing
Sports
Moonshine
My beard is the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's look good.
Bill Walton
American basketball player
Basketball
People
Self
Sports
Beards
Dylan
Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.
Charles Barkley
(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball
Situations
Sports
Changing diapers
Frentzen is taking… er… reducing that gap between himself and Frentzen.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
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