Subject: Sports (Page 97)

A tough day at the office is even tougher when your office contains spectator seating.

Basketball Sports

That sounded like he hit a roll of wet toilet paper.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life… but there was a flag on the play!

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Life Problems Sports

Frankly, that’s tantamount to the head of the White Star line saying the company’s next voyage will be considered a success if it fares better than the Titanic.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Baroness Summerskill: Mr Cooper, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?
Cooper: Well, madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What's yours?

English boxing champion
Appearance Boxing Insults Sports

Hole-In-One: An occurrence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole on a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

Definitions Golf Sports

My purpose in life was to run 100%. Maybe it cost me some races, but nobody ever hired me to ride.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

I was like a pig with a wristwatch.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports

You either have to finesse 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty, or 11 who weren't smart enough to play offense.

Clemson quarterback
Football Sports

He went to the hospital with bleeding kidneys, and me… I went dancing with my wife.

Canadian boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Call them pros, call them mercenaries – but in fact they are just grown-up kids who have learned on the frozen creek or flooded corner lot that hockey is the greatest thrill of all.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I think you enjoy the game more if you don't know the rules. Anyway, you're on the same wavelength as the referees.

Welsh rugby player
Sports

Sure, luck means a lot in football; not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

(1930 – ) American football player & coach
Football Sports

Is that the best game you ever pitched?

Baseball Misspokements Sports

80 percent of the balls that don’t reach the hole, don’t go in.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms

I can’t keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian’s husband and his friends.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Basketball Sports

I know my players don't like my practices, but that's OK, because I don't like their games.

Canadian hockey coach, general manager & commentator
Hockey Sports

When you’re walking to the bank with that World Series check every November, you don’t want to leave. There were no Yankees saying, “play me or trade me.”

(1922 – 2007) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports Success

We don’t pray after a game… that’s too late.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Sports

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

(1928 – ) Armenian American politician
Golf Government Sports