Subject: Sports (Page 97)

Bill Walton is incredible; if you drop a toothpick on his foot, he'll have a stress fracture.

American basketball coach
Basketball Health Sports

He's got a nutritionist, and I've got room service.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

It must be the body. It’s chiseled out of marshmallows.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Panthers Destroy Viking Visitors

Headlines Sports

I always have this dream that the guy coming in last for diving is going to do a cannonball for our amusement. – Olympic Diving

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Sports

Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix in 200 Meters

Headlines Sports

Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.

professional hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

I told you I needed to feed my family; they offered me 3 years at $21 million – that’s not going to cut it.

professional basketball player
Basketball Money Sports

When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys, there’s no better feeling than to have that done.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

They christened their game ‘golf’ because they were Scottish and reveled in meaningless Celtic noises in the back of the throat.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Golf Places Sports

I don't know what these fellows are doing, but whatever they are doing, they sure are doing it well.

American professional tennis player
Sports

I don’t think there’s anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers… I mean Chargers.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

From the way Denny’s shaking his head, he’s either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Goaltenders are three sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Earnie hit me so hard, it shook my kinfolk back in Africa.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

If you want a track team to win the high jump you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.

Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

You're damn right I know where I am! I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the sh*t kicked out of me.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

Even my players aren't players.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One night we play like King Kong, the next night like Fay Wray.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports