Subject: Sports (Page 98)

Claudell Washington plays the outfield like he's trying to catch grenades.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

It would be unprintable on television.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Auto racing Sports

A stadium with the lights out.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

They’re really keen on the strawberry flavored ones.

Australian basketball player
Sports

Give blood. Play hockey. 

Hockey Sports

We’ve got no-trade clauses. Nobody wants us.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The gap between the two cars is 0.9 of a second, which is less than one second.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports Time

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him forf the entire weekend.


Activities Sports

We’ve got to find a way to win; I’m willing to start cheating.

professional football player
Misspokements Sports

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Golf Sports

Willie Mays' glove is where triples go to die.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

There’s someone warming up in the bullpen, but he’s obscured by his number.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

I believed in drug testing a long time ago… all through the Sixties I tested everything.

American baseball pitcher
Activities Baseball Drugs Sports

Three or four plane crashes and we're in the playoffs.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

A slump starts in your head and winds up in your stomach.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Forty years after his heyday, an old opponent met Willie on the street and asked: "Do you recognize me?"
Willie looked hard and considered before finally replying: "Lie down so I can recognize you."

1922 – 2006) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The way he’s swinging the bat, he won’t get a hit until the 20th century.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Have another donut you fat pig!

Canadian hockey player & general manager
Hockey Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Definitions Golf Sports