Subject: Sports (Page 98)

A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

I'm okay. Russian machine never breaks.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

Scottish football player
Misspokements Sports

He just got me in the right spot. In the small of the back. A good, clean, dirty hit… not that I didn't deserve it.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

My kryptonite.

American football coach
Football Sports

Probably the best thing that happened to me was going nuts. Nobody knew who I was until that happened.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Health Sports

The dumbest question I was ever asked by a sportswriter was whether I hit harder with red or white gloves. As a matter of fact, I hit harder with red.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

I lost my job as a cricket commentator for saying, ‘I don't want to bore you with the details.’

(1964 – ) English comedian
Sports

No big deal. I just watched the game. I had the best seats of anyone in the crowd. It was awesome.

Czech hockey player
Hockey Sports

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

… riding a typical McCoy race where, with five lengths to go, he literally picks up the horse and carries it over the line.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

Frank, you deserve a knighthood, or maybe even Lord of the Rings.

Irish television & radio presenter
Boxing Misspokements Sports

That was a tremendous six. The ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary.

English cricketer
Misspokements Sports

It was about three-to-one that I was not an SOB.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

If it's your brain, you'll be fine. That's the smallest organ in your body.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

You may be right, but it hasn’t reached his legs yet!

Scottish football player & manager
Sports

Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Malaprops Sports

They say you're not a coach in the league till you've been fired. I must be getting pretty good.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

The best time to play a freshman is when he is a junior.

Minnesota football coach
Football Sports