Subject: Sports (Page 98)

Motor racing's less of a sport these days than a commercial break doing 150 mph.

sportswriter
Auto racing Entertainment Sports Television

Dance with the one what brung ya.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

I wouldn't trust him to sit on a toilet the right way.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The last time I saw anything like this I was playing for Tastee Freeze in the Little League.

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

If anyone wants me tell them I'm being embalmed.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

He can be as good as he wants to be, that's how good he can be.

English football player & announcer
Misspokements Sports

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Every time I see you naked I feel bad for your wife.

Czech hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Sports

If defensive linemen’s IQs were 5 points lower, they’d be geraniums.

American football player
Football Intelligence Sports

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

I’m a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start to eat.

(1925 – ) American professional football player
Eating Food/Drink Football Sports

Tell him he’s Wayne Gretzky.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Bob Gibson was so mean he would knock you down and then meet you at home plate to see if you wanted to make something of it.

(1942 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Nothing is so bad it can’t be made worse by firing the coach.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Situations Sports

Knuckleball: A curveball that doesn't give a damn.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Baseball Sports

I’m not fat.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

Since I've retired, I eat less, weigh less, train less and care less.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I didn’t drop my gloves. They were yanked off me.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

In pro boxing, let's face it, the name of the game is how much you make – not how many honors won. Billy Walker was the most successful flop in history.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Boxing Sports

That boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports