Subject: Sports (Page 99)

Frank, you deserve a knighthood, or maybe even Lord of the Rings.

Irish television & radio presenter
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Horse racing is animated roulette.

(1927 – ) American author & baseball writer
Sports

If I'd known I was going to pitch a no-hitter today, I would have gotten a haircut.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Activities Golf Sports

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

American football player & coach
Football

The only way to avoid hitting a tree is to aim at it.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Just give every coach the same amount of money and tell them they can keep what’s left over.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Money Sports

The batsman’s is Holding, the bowler’s Willey.

cricket announcer
Misspokements Sports

He's got a nutritionist, and I've got room service.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Eating Food/Drink Sports

I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat… I might be failing as a father.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Family Fathers Sports

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Activities Golf Sports

A fishing rod is a stick with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Fools Sports

I just tape four Tylenols to it.

Russian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Sports

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year… it was my second season in the bigs.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I have ever seen on a running back.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Misspokements Sports

Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports

We’re all endowed with God-given talents… mine happens to be hitting people in the head.

American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports

No fighter comes into the ring hoping to win – he goes in hoping to win.

English boxing champion
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Goaltenders are three sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports