Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 2)
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.
Gore Vidal
(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Friends
Success
If you think you can, you’re right; and if you think you can’t, you’re right.
Mary Kay Ash
(1918 – 2001) American businesswoman & founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics
Success
Work
Achievement
Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.
Frank Dane
(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Communication
Speech
Success
Success doesn’t teach as many lessons as failure does.
Jay Samit
Failure
Success
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey
(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian
Men
People
Success
Women
I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention.
Diana Sawyer
(1945 – ) American television journalist
Life
Success
Paying attention
It is common sense to take a method and try it… if it fails, admit it frankly and try another; but above all, try something.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Beliefs
Success
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Peter Ustinov
(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Success
Awards
If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Failure
Situations
Success
She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Success
Women
You climb the ladder of success easier when you lay it flat.
Dietvorst's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
I don’t think we have failed, we have just found another way that doesn’t work. – After an unsuccessful around-the-world balloon flight
Andy Elson
American engineer, businessman & adventurer
Success
Failure
Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.
Knox's Principle of Star Quality
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Sports
Success
Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.
Jimmy Stewart
(1908 – 1997) American actor
Appearance
Clothing
Men
People
Success
Women
These days a star is anyone who can hold a microphone; a super star is someone who has shaken hands with Lew Grade, and a super-super-star is someone who has refused to shake hands with Lew Grade.
Harry Secombe
(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Success
Celebrity
Lew Grade
Stars
She said I was afraid of success, which may in fact be true, because I have a feeling that fufilling my potential would really cut into my sittin' around time.
Maria Bamford
(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Success
I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay, and signed autographs for people who’ve been gone from America for so long they didn’t realize that I’m not famous.
Mike Birbiglia
(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Success
Celebrity
Fame
Success has killed more men than bullets.
Mary Louise Cecilia 'Texas' Guinan
(1884 – 1933) American saloon keeper, actress & entrepreneur
Death
Success
Bullets
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict
Eating
Fights
Food/Drink
Life
Success
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
Jennifer Aniston
(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Toilet paper
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People
Success
Celebrity
Sunglasses
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