Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 2)
Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.
Russell Brand
(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Speech
Success
Celebrity
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Napoleon Bonaparte
(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Success
Time
Celebrity
Glory
Jack Benny's ability on the violin was legendary; everybody knew he had none.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Music
Success
Things
Ability
Celebrity
Violin
Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Failure
Problems
Success
Only sons
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age
Golf
Sports
Success
Wealth
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
Doug Larson
(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
People
Success
Possibilities
One day you are a signature, next day you’re an autograph.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Success
Autographs
Celebrity
If at first you don’t succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Success
Incompetence
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Success
Celebrity
Specific
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict
Eating
Fights
Food/Drink
Life
Success
Nobody notices when things go right.
Zimmerman's Law of Complaints
Murphy’s Laws
People
Success
At all those banquets, stars get up and give credit to their coaches and parents; I give credit to no one; I made myself what I am today.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Success
Career
It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
Harry Truman
(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Success
Work
Accomplishments
Credit
[Fame] makes you feel permanently like a girl walking past construction workers.
Brad Pitt
(1963 – ) American actor & film producer
Success
Fame
Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behavior of a successful person.
Paturi Principle
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Behavior
I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People
Self
Success
He’s like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know — the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!
Bill Burr
(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education
Success
George W. Bush
Peers
Authors want their names down in history; I want to keep the smoke coming out of the chimney.
Mickey Spillane
(1918 – 2006) American writer
Money
Success
Work
Celebrity
When you’re walking to the bank with that World Series check every November, you don’t want to leave. There were no Yankees saying, “play me or trade me.”
Hank Bauer
(1922 – 2007) American baseball player & manager
Baseball
Sports
Success
New York Yankees
1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.
Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws
Education
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Teaching
I want to succeed in America where, unlike Britain, they do not regard ambition as being the same as eating babies.
Eddie Izzard
(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
America
Places
Success
Ambition
Britain
Eating babies
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