Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 3)
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
Jennifer Aniston
(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Toilet paper
If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.
Claude McDonald
(1925 – ) writer
Success
Work
Locks
I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.
Jessica Simpson
(1980 – ) American singer
Music
Success
Celebrity
Diva
Brute force, clumsiness, ignorance, and superstition will always triumph over science, skill, knowledge, and logic.
Hugo's First Rule of Life
Murphy’s Laws
Success
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence
Success
Confidence
Ignorance
Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a light bulb.
Gilda Radner
(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Success
Fame
No one wants to hear about the labor pains, they just want to see the baby.
Lou Brock
(1939 – ) American baseball player
Success
Work
Results
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Michael Pritchard
comedian, counselor & speaker
Death
Science/Weather
Success
Wealth
Celebrity
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands
Men
People
Success
Wives
Women
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence
Life
Stupidity
Success
Confidence
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
Doug Larson
(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
People
Success
Possibilities
If you want a track team to win the high jump you find one person who can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.
Terman's Law of Innovation
Murphy’s Laws
Sports
Success
Track
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Success
I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Self
Success
Drag queens
Fame
When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.
Flip Wilson
(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Characteristics
Success
Success has killed more men than bullets.
Mary Louise Cecilia 'Texas' Guinan
(1884 – 1933) American saloon keeper, actress & entrepreneur
Death
Success
Bullets
I’d rather lose at pinochle than win at solitaire.
Henry Schriver
(1914 – 2011) American politician
Activities
Success
There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?
Mary Astor
(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting
Age
Entertainment
Success
Actors
Celebrity
To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.
Leonard Bernstein
(1918 – 1990) American composer, conductor, author & pianist
Success
I don’t mind the high price of stardom, I just don’t like the high price of mediocrity.
Bill Veeck
(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Money
Sports
Success
Mediocrity
Stars
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Anonymous
Food/Drink
Money
Success
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