Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 7)
The search for someone to blame is always successful.
Robert Half
businessman
Characteristics
Relationships
Success
Blame
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Life
Success
Ancestors
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Success
Praise
Talent
Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.
Gore Vidal
(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Friends
Success
I’m kind of jealous of the life I’m supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Jealousy
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that is the way to bet.
Damon Runyon
(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer
Activities
Success
Betting
I don't believe I'll ever get credit for anything I do in foreign affairs, no matter how successful it is, because I didn't go to Harvard.
Lyndon Johnson
(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government
Success
Foreign Affairs
Harvard
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Failure
Success
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Peter's Placebo
Appearance
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Image
Performance
If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.
Claude McDonald
(1925 – ) writer
Success
Work
Locks
Jack Benny's ability on the violin was legendary; everybody knew he had none.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Music
Success
Things
Ability
Celebrity
Violin
Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.
Kristol's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Frustration
The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
Solomon Short
David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Entertainment
Music
Success
Tchaikovsky
War of 1812
Winners
Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy
Government
Politics
Success
Democracy
Unfit to rule
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Benny
(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Health
Success
Arthritis
Award
It is a sobering thought, that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Age
Life
Success
Time
Mozart
The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Prayer
First year, a .500 season – second year, a conference championship – third year, undefeated – fourth year, a national championship – and in the fifth year, we’ll be on probation, of course.
Paul 'Bear' Bryant
1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Football
Sports
Success
Outlining a five-year plan for success
Success doesn’t teach as many lessons as failure does.
Jay Samit
Failure
Success
One day you are a signature, next day you’re an autograph.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Success
Autographs
Celebrity
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success
Celebrity
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