Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 7)
At all those banquets, stars get up and give credit to their coaches and parents; I give credit to no one; I made myself what I am today.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Success
Career
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Success
Showing up
If at first you don't succeed, try try again… then quit; there's no use being a damn fool about it.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Failure
Situations
Success
I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.
Jessica Simpson
(1980 – ) American singer
Music
Success
Celebrity
Diva
The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.
Chuck Lamar
professional baseball player & executive
Misspokements
Sports
Success
I don’t mind the high price of stardom, I just don’t like the high price of mediocrity.
Bill Veeck
(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Money
Sports
Success
Mediocrity
Stars
Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire… that’s the new American dream.
Natasha Leggero
(1974 – ) American comedian
Success
American dream
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Success
Celebrity
Specific
Success doesn’t teach as many lessons as failure does.
Jay Samit
Failure
Success
Awards are like piles… sooner or later, every bum gets one.
Maureen Lipman
(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Success
Things
Awards
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Fahnestock's Rule for Failure
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Success
Evidence
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics
Failure
Success
Enthusiasm
Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence; this explains why we have so many stupid leaders.
Sloan Wilson
(1920 – 2003) American writer
Intelligence
Success
Leaders
Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Failure
Problems
Success
Only sons
I’d rather lose at pinochle than win at solitaire.
Henry Schriver
(1914 – 2011) American politician
Activities
Success
From Poland to polo in one generation.
Arthur Caesar
(1953 – ) Romanian-born American screenwriter
Success
Of film executive Darryl Zanuck
Success is the result of behavior that completely contradicts the usual expectations about the behavior of a successful person.
Paturi Principle
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Behavior
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success
World
Mediocrity
Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.
Gore Vidal
(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication
Reading/Writing
Speech
Success
Celebrity
Public figures
If
A
is a success in life, then
A
equals
x
plus
y
plus
z
; work is
x
;
y
is play; and
z
is keeping your mouth shut.
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Life
Success
I don’t think we have failed, we have just found another way that doesn’t work. – After an unsuccessful around-the-world balloon flight
Andy Elson
American engineer, businessman & adventurer
Success
Failure
Page 7 of 11
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