Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 9)
Success doesn’t teach as many lessons as failure does.
Jay Samit
Failure
Success
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Life
Success
Ancestors
Why should I have become elevated to a position of first-page importance merely because I am somewhat more dexterous than most in manipulating a contrivance of catgut and wood which is commonly called a tennis racquet?
Mary K. Brown
first American female professional tennis player
Sports
Success
Celebrity
Tennis
Tennis racquet
You climb the ladder of success easier when you lay it flat.
Dietvorst's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
Jennifer Aniston
(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Toilet paper
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Anonymous
Food/Drink
Money
Success
If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.
Marcelene Cox
writer
Family
Parents
Success
About the only problem with success is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.
Tommy Lasorda
Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball
Sports
Success
When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.
Flip Wilson
(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Characteristics
Success
Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters in life begin when you get what you want.
Kristol's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Frustration
This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.
Bob Newhart
(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor
Communication
Speech
Success
Stammers
[A successful parent is one] who raises a child who grows up and is able to pay for his or her own psychoanalysis.
Nora Ephron
(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Children
Family
Parents
Success
Psychoanalysis
Nobody loves a winner who wins all the time.
Henry's Quirk of Human Nature
Success
Winners
Nobody notices when things go right.
Zimmerman's Law of Complaints
Murphy’s Laws
People
Success
I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.
Abraham Lincoln
(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Friends
People
Relationships
Success
Young
Disappointment
I have enemies I’ve never met – that’s fame.
Tallulah Bankhead
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Success
Enemies
Fame
Jack Benny's ability on the violin was legendary; everybody knew he had none.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Music
Success
Things
Ability
Celebrity
Violin
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Failure
Success
If at first you don’t succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Success
Incompetence
After a fellow gets famous it doesn’t take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Success
Fame
The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.
Sod's Other Law
Failure
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Success
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