Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Success
(Page 9)
A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services.
Daniel J. Boorstin
(1914 – ) historian
Money
Success
Celebrity
Worth
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Children
Family
Parents
Success
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Finagle's First Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Experiments
If at first you don’t succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Success
Incompetence
There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?
Mary Astor
(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting
Age
Entertainment
Success
Actors
Celebrity
Fame means absolutely nothing except a good table at a restaurant.
Eileen Atkins
(1934 – ) English actress & occasional screenwriter
Success
Celebrity
Fame
The search for someone to blame is always successful.
Robert Half
businessman
Characteristics
Relationships
Success
Blame
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
Henry Kissinger
(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Characteristics
Success
Boredom
Celebrity
The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.
Chuck Lamar
professional baseball player & executive
Misspokements
Sports
Success
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence
Success
Confidence
Ignorance
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Life
Success
Ancestors
You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.
Anonymous
Success
Ability
Luck
A success has many fathers, a failure is an orphan.
Polish proverb
Success
The road to success is always under construction.
Arnold Palmer
(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Problems
Success
Hemingway hated me; I sold 200 million books, and he didn't… of course most of mine sold for 25 cents.
Mickey Spillane
(1918 – 2006) American writer
Books
Communication
Success
Ernest Hemingway
You climb the ladder of success easier when you lay it flat.
Dietvorst's Law
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Success means only doing what you do well, letting someone else do the rest.
Goldstein's Truism
Murphy’s Laws
Success
Work
The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job… my wife told me.
Howard Nemerov
(1920 – 1991) American poet
Marriage
Success
Wives
Job
L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there's a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson – and when he shows up, they tell him there'll be a ten-minute wait.
Bill Maher
(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Places
Success
Celebrity
Jack Nicholson
Los Angeles
Restaurants
Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a light bulb.
Gilda Radner
(1946 – 1989) comedian & actress
Success
Fame
At all those banquets, stars get up and give credit to their coaches and parents; I give credit to no one; I made myself what I am today.
Bob Uecker
(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball
Self
Sports
Success
Career
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