Subject: Things » Autos (Page 10)

Never think of your car as a cold machine, but as a hot-blooded horse.

Argentinian auto racer
Auto racing Autos Sports Things

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

I knew these Siamese twins; they moved to England, so the other one could drive.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Driving England Places

I learned in my car that I could not have children; it was the day that I locked my keys in my car with the engine running.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Children Family Mistakes Problems

My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Autos Driving

You might be a redneck if… you've painted a car with house paint.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks Things

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Music Things

You might be a redneck if… your the tail light covers of your car are made of red tape.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks Things

If you have to park six blocks away, you will find two new parking spaces right in front of the building entrance.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Autos Children Family Mothers

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Accidents Autos Clothing Death Problems