Subject: Things » Autos (Page 2)

Life is too short to own a German car.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Autos Things

I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Autos Situations Things

I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things Work

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

(1934 – 1997) journalist
Activities America Autos Places Travel

Good parking places are always on the other side of the street.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Never buy a car that has a wick.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

I got a $290 parking ticket today… my car only cost $240.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Autos Money Things

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Situations Things

My wife told me she likes to have sex in the back seat of the car. I drove her and that guy around all night.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Sex Things

My car broke down this morning before I did.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Autos Things

My father only hit me once – but he used a Volvo.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Autos Conflict Fathers Fights Things

I had a friend who was a clown and when he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Death Friends People Things

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Music Things

I once locked my keys out of my car… I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Situations Things

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?


(1924 – ) American businessman, president, CEO of Chrysler Corporation
Autos Situations

I took my headlights out and put strobe lights in; now when I drive at night it looks like I am the only one that is moving.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things

I always expect to see lottery balls blowing around inside there with him.

comedian
Autos Things

You might be a redneck if… you've painted a car with house paint.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks Things

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Autos Children Family Things

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives