Subject: Things » Computers (Page 2)

User: Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Things

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Computers Mistakes Problems Things

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Money People Things

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.

journalist, media executive & entrepreneur
Computers Mistakes Problems Things

Just tried to switch to Bing… Google was like, “You can, but it’d be a real shame if some of your old searches got out.”

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Computers Things

Rare is the “improvement” that will ever repay the time lost in performing it.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer
Computers Occupations Things Work

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Fools Intelligence People Things

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Things

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on me?

comedian, commentator, radio host, reporter & writer
Computers Language Sex Things

There is always one more bug.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Computers Things

As every parent of a small child knows, converting a large object into small fragments is considerably easier than the reverse process.

(1944 – ) American computer scientist
Computers Things

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Computers Science/Weather Things

Computing power increases as the square of the cost; if you want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times slower.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations Things