Subject: Things » Computers (Page 3)

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.

journalist, media executive & entrepreneur
Computers Mistakes Problems Things

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed. 2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers. 3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Computers Murphy’s Laws

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Computers Things

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Computers Science/Weather Things

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Money People Things

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.


Computers Sex Things

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Things

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Communication Computers Things

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Users: Computer users are divided into three types: Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people's computers.

Computers Definitions People Things

The word “user” is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Intelligence Things

User: Collective term for those who stare vacantly at a monitor.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Things

Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House?

Book Titles Computers Things

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things