Subject: Things (Page 20)

We are now able to create virtual realities on computers… are we all living in one created by someone in the future?

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Computers Things

An unbreakable toy is good for breaking other toys.

Murphy’s Laws Things

I got up the other day and everything in my apartment was stolen and replaced with an exact replica.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Things

Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier.

Autos Misspokements Situations Things

An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Marriage Things Wives

The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations Things

A church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.

(1959 – ) Australian writer & television producer
Beliefs Things

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Places Things

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my door’s always open.

(1987 – ) British comedian
Communication Things Wordplay

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Traffic increases to fill the road space available.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat Things

Heirloom: Some old thing nobody liked well enough to wear out.

Definitions Things

Colin had his neck brace fitted years ago and since then he’s never looked back.


Communication Things Wordplay

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Activities Places Things Travel

I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road; I don’t know how I got there.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things

If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Things

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Situations Things

The better the four-wheel drive, the further away you'll be when you get stuck.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things