Subject: Things (Page 38)

Always buy a good pair of shoes and a good bed – if you’re not in one you’re in the other.


Things

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

I'd never buy my girl a watch… she's already got a clock over the stove.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports Things

A finished product is one that has already seen its better days.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist
Things

Possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Arms Situations Things

If a computer cable has one end, then it has another.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?


(1924 – ) American businessman, president, CEO of Chrysler Corporation
Autos Situations

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Alcohol Food/Drink Things

I came from a real tough neighborhood; on my street, the kids take hubcaps – from moving cars.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Places Things

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor… especially in the dark.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

1. If you keep anything long enough you can throw it away.
2. If you throw anything away, you will need it as soon as it is no longer accessible.

Murphy’s Laws Things

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

Things

Have you ever noticed nobody has ever ordered a grapefruit the size of a tumor? … ever… there’s no reciprocity.


Health Things

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Music Things

Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you’re going?… I don’t even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Autos Things

I love that smell of the emissions!

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Things

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realized you could watch it on TV for nothing.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Things

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Autos Driving Fools Intelligence Things

Confucius say… when driving near schools, open your eyes and save the pupils.

Autos Confucius say Things