Subject: Things (Page 9)

Any organization is like a septic tank; the really big chunks rise to the top.

(1923 – 2005) American professor
Things

In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available for its storage.

Murphy’s Laws Things

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realized you could watch it on TV for nothing.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Things

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Autos Men Things

Batteries die at the most critical time of the most complex problem.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer
Computers Occupations Things Work

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

Things

The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

… electrical degenerators

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Things

The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall from the work bench, varies directly with the size of the part and inversely with its importance to the completion of the work underway.

Murphy’s Laws Things Work

To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Computers Mistakes Problems Things

The amount of junk is in direct proportion to the amount of space available.

Murphy’s Laws Things

The only way to make up for being lost is to make record time while you are lost.

Activities Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws

Good parking places are always on the other side of the street.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws Things

If it can break, it will, but only after the warranty expires.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Things

Flashlight: A case for storing dead batteries.

Definitions Things

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Things