Subject: Time (Page 10)

The hands on my biological clock are giving me the finger.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age People Self Time

Yoga is basically spending an entire hour trying to not fart.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Time

The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Future Life Time

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse – as a man shoots himself.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Time

If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Communication Reading/Writing Time

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Situations Time

Bus schedules are arranged so your bus will arrive at the transfer point precisely one minute after the connecting bus has left.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

Those who live closest arrive latest.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Future Relationships Situations Time

So what if I can’t spell Armaggedon? … it’s not the end of the world.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Time

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist & lecturer
Money Time

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Divorce Marriage Money Time

Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics History Time

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

British politician
People Sports Time

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Past Science/Weather Time

What happens when the future has come and gone?

businessman
Future Time