Subject: Time (Page 11)

Just give me a shave… I haven’t time to listen to a haircut.

Communication Speech Time

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Time

These are the days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Situations Time

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can get done sometime next week.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Time

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse – as a man shoots himself.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Time

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Food/Drink Time

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Murphy’s Laws Time

So what if I can’t spell Armaggedon? … it’s not the end of the world.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Time

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I’m only going to dread one day at a time.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Intelligence Life Time

There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.

Murphy’s Laws Time

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learning Time

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

Never make predictions… especially about the future.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Future Misspokements Time

The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Age Time

Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?

(1965 – ) English comedian, musician, actor & author
Definitions History Time

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Life Time