Subject: Time (Page 11)

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Children should neither be seen nor heard from… ever again.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Time

History does not repeat itself; historians simply repeat each other.

History Murphy’s Laws Time

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Family Fathers Time War

I just don’t want you to do nothing on the sperm of the moment.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Time

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

Most people still believe in a hard day’s work, but they also believe it should be spread out over the course of a week or two.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Time Work

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Baseball Sports Time

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Situations Time

What happens when the future has come and gone?

businessman
Future Time

It always takes longer to get there than to get back.

Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Mistakes Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Time

My watch is three hours fast, and I can’t fix it… so I’m going to move to New York.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things Time

The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Trade-offs have been with us ever since the late unpleasantness in the Garden of Eden.

(1930 – ) economist, social commentator & author
History Situations

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
History Relationships Time