Subject: Time (Page 18)

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Intelligence Time

The length of debate varies inversely with the complexity of the issue.

Murphy’s Laws Time

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics People Time

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Government Law Lawyers Murphy’s Laws Time

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators… I left early.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Sex Time

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication Death Hair Time

No project was ever completed on time and within budget.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Time

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Time

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Proverbs Time

You never have the right number of pills left on the last day of a prescription.

Health Murphy’s Laws Time

Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Speech Time

I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Clothing Misspokements Time

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.

Education History Learning Murphy’s Laws People Time

If you’re early, it’ll be cancelled. If you knock yourself out to be on time, you will have to wait. If you’re late, you will be too late.

Murphy’s Laws Time

If you have something to do and you put it off for long enough, the chances are someone else will do it for you.

Murphy’s Laws Time

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs God History Time

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Money Occupations Time Work

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Things Time Travel