Subject: Time (Page 18)

Absolutum obsoletum – if it works, it’s out of date.

(1926 – 2002) British management theorist & professor
Murphy’s Laws Time

Perhaps nothing has changed in the course of history as much as historians.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
History Time

He asked me if I knew what time it was… I said, “Yes, but not right now.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Time

Experience is what makes you pause briefly before going ahead and making the same mistake.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Mistakes Problems Situations Time

There must be one day above all others in each life that is the happiest

Corollary: What if you’ve already had it?

Emotions Happiness Murphy’s Laws Time

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Things Time

I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking,” but I don’t have that
 much time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money Things Time

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Food/Drink Time

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.

Education History Learning Murphy’s Laws People Time

I was a peripheral visionary; I could see the future, but only way off to the side.I was a peripheral visionary; I could see the future, but only way off to the side.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Future Time

All modern men are descended from a wormlike creature… but it shows more on some people.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
History People Time

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

Proverbs Time

If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs… it’ll seem like forever.

hockey announcer
Hockey Sports Time

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech Time

Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.

Definitions Time

Trivial matters are handled promptly; important matters are never resolved.

Murphy’s Laws Time

I like to reminisce with people I don’t know… granted, it takes longer.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Past Time

There was three minutes to go about two minutes ago.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports Time