Subject: Time (Page 2)

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Situations Time

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Past Time

When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear; when there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Past Science/Weather Time

Only at the start/re-start of a DIY job do you realise the need to return to your toolbox/shed to retrieve another tool.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

No speech can be entirely bad if it is short enough.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Speech Time

Brought up in the provinces in the forties and fifties one learned early the valuable lesson that life is generally something that happens elsewhere.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
History Time

 It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

History Memory Murphy’s Laws

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time,” so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Eating Food/Drink History Time

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time

Everything will go wrong at one time.

Corollary: That time is always when you least expect it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

There must be one day above all others in each life that is the happiest

Corollary: What if you’ve already had it?

Emotions Happiness Murphy’s Laws Time

The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.

Government Murphy’s Laws Time

It’s always darkest before… daylight savings time.

Proverbs Situations Time

If you wait, it will go away.

Murphy’s Laws Time

In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Places Time

Anybody who tells you that life is brief hasn’t been to motor vehicles recently.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Life Time

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
History People Things Time

I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Time

It's always the wrong time of the month.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Sex Time

There was three minutes to go about two minutes ago.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports Time