Subject: Time (Page 20)

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics Time

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

Murphy’s Laws Taxes Time

Why should I do anything for posterity? … what has posterity ever done for me?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Future People Time

Money still talks these days… trouble is, you have to increase the volume alot!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Death Money Time

The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Past Time

A very short one.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman
Age Future Time

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics People Time

The hands on my biological clock are giving me the finger.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Age People Self Time

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Time

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.

Government Murphy’s Laws Time

The trouble with being punctual is that there's nobody there to appreciate it.

(1908 – 1993) American composer, lyricist & writer
Characteristics Time

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Children Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Pocket Watch: A watch for people who don’t like having time on their hands.

Definitions Time

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Past Situations Time

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
History Time

Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.

(1930 – ) economist, social commentator & author
History Time

Everything will go wrong at one time.

Corollary: That time is always when you least expect it.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

Definitions Time