Subject: Time (Page 22)

It’s not only a race against the clock but a race against time itself.

Misspokements Time

Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Places Time

The length of time it takes a bill to pass through the legislature is in inverse proportion to the number of lobbying groups favoring it.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws Time

To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. (Example: allocate two days for a one-hour task)

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Time

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what man does with what happens to him.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
History Intelligence

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Situations Time

Why do they collect garbage at 5 a.m.; it’s garbage… it’s not going to go bad again.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Situations Time

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Activities Shopping Things Time

The time of departure will be delayed by the square of the number of people involved.

Murphy’s Laws People Time

The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Life Murphy’s Laws Time

What Orwell failed to predict was that we’d buy the cameras ourselves… and that our biggest fear would be that nobody was watching.

Future Science/Weather Time

Sooner or later, I'll be punctual.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Self Time

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Situations Time

There is a tendency for the person in the most powerful position in an organization to spend all his time serving on committees and signing letters.

Murphy’s Laws Time

I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a.m., and it said “Sorry, we’re closed” … you don’t have to be sorry – it’s 3 a.m., and you’re a dry cleaner.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Time

Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Murphy’s Laws Time

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws People Time

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Congress Government Time