Subject: Time (Page 22)

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Time

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Food/Drink Time

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Age Children Family Past Young

Time is an illusion; lunchtime doubly so.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Time

My secret to staying young… having no sense of time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Time Young

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

I love deadlines; I especially like the whooshing sound they make when they go flying by.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Time

First Things First, but not necessarily in that order.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Success Time

I couldn’t care less about all those fiction stories about what happened in the year 1500 or 1600. Half of them aren’t even true.

professional golfer
History Misspokements Time

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
History Time

Seems like only a year ago they were married nine years!

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Marriage Time

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

That’s history; I say history because it happened in the past.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
History Misspokements Time

Only at the start/re-start of a DIY job do you realise the need to return to your toolbox/shed to retrieve another tool.

Murphy’s Laws Things Time

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
History Time

Whenever I think about the past, it just brings back so many memories.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Time

Yoga is basically spending an entire hour trying to not fart.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Time